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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Square Zero

 Tomorrow is 2 weeks since my stroke, and 1 week home from the hospital, and I am having what you would call a BAD DAY, The doctor said, there would be days like this, hey wait, isn't there a song, "mama said there'd be days like these?"
 Well today is one of those days and it is only 2 pm. I have one of my AWFUL headaches, and have taken every medication I own and no relief, quite frankly I am tired of sleeping, and my arthritis is bad.
 Did I mention we will be over 100 today, the heat triggers my headaches, so this oughta be fun!
 Ok,  I guess if we can't laugh at ourselves, then we are doomed, I still have scrambled brains as I call it and when I try to say too much, it comes out very confusing, most people know what I mean, sometimes, I just want to cry, and others I can't help but laugh. ON the phone with Kathy this morning, I wanted to say I am back at square one, and I said square zero, when I tried to explain, I only made things worse, luckily, she knew what I meant all along.
 I have had my UH say many times, what did you just say? and when I try & repeat it, it doesn't sound any better, and then I get upset/ I think my 8 mos old grandson's vocabulary is more advanced than mine!
 This morning I wake up to a nice quiet house, Jenn went to the water park, Cody & Terry were at Cody's game, I still can't manage those things yet, crowds confuse me, and I literally can't talk. I feel bad that I can't go, and my other problem is I can not wake up before 10am, and I HATE that, I used to be a morning person.
 Ok, so back to the quiet morning, I head for the bathroom, and see that Lacey, my pad trained shih-tzu, and right now, yes, she is a SHIT ZU!!!, had pooped & the 3 puppies were, now hold on, this isn't pleasant, eating the poop, and it was ALL OVER THE PLACE!! tiny, pieces. Now, I am OCD when it comes to cleaning & this is not going over to well with me, In fact, I am crying to the big dog Crissy, who happens to turn 7 today!
 Ok, what kind of flake starts crying to their dog?? Now the smell is making me sick, and I have to walk past it to go use the bathroom. 
 At that very moment I was ready to fuel up my broom stick, and head east, and come back when the puppies do not have poop on their menu, and the kids are grown up, & moved out!!! Wouldn't you know, I couldn't even find the dang broomstick!!!
 I have said a lot of funny things, unintended, but, truth be told, I want the old me back, and wonder if I ever will be back, my friend Julie says I am the funniest person she knows, will I still be? Will I ever be able to babysit my grandkids, in fear of dropping them? Will I ever be comfortable in public trying to talk, when I used to be the life of the party? And my oldest son just turned 29 yesterday, I have been cleaning up shit for 29 years, please tell me this will end, too!
 Megan just called and said she is taking Cody to Fountain Hills, PRAISE THE LORD,
 Now if I can only get that bus running a lot of us are in favor of, for our retired or disabled husbands, the bus will pick them up in the morning & drop them off at dinner time, the line is growing so get your tickets now, ladies!!!
 Happy 7th birthday to my dog who doesn't poop!!!!

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