Wednesday, April 20, 2011

THE FISH TANK

When you walk into my living room, we have a breakfast bar, that we hardly use, heck, we have a dining table that seats 6, that we hardly use, like many of todays "All American" families, we all eat around the TV set, although it may not be a good way to bond with your children, the conversations are never limited, or boring, and from where I stand, well, ok sit I think we find out more about their lives in an informal relaxed setting, and spend more quality time with them.Try and tell them so, and I will never own up to it!!!...LOL
 So, we decided to put 2 fish tanks, on the breakfast bar, w/o backgrounds, so you can see through the fish tank, from the kitchen & living room. My dream would have been to get 1 LARGE fish tank, with those big beautiful fish I can't afford
 Well, today was just another day, we had a DDD home visit scheduled for Cody,{which will be my next blog} The DDD team arrived, and some how it came up that I had recently had a stroke, and the woman, of the team said, " you don't look like you had a stroke" AGAIN, another person telling me I don't look like I had a stroke,well this woman happened to be in the wrong place at the WRONG time, I was very polite, BUT, said, and how am I supposed to look? Unless I had a severe stroke, am I to look a certain way,? MY balance issues were no longer an issue, so there was no reason for a cane or walker, I still have obvious speech issues, that manifest all on their own. OH Yes, I guess I never went and had that Big S embroided on my shirt! You know the Scarlett letter, And seeing me for 5 minutes as we both sat, what symptoms am I supposed to be displaying?? Am I supposed to be sitting there giving you the raspberries?? How should my slight weakness on my left side be obvious to you, have you asked me to hold a glass full of water, that I can accommodate you with, because THAT I WOULD drop, had I not told you I had a stroke, then you would just think she accidentally dropped that.This woman must have thought, well we know where her stroke effected her, she is NUTS!!
 Now back to those fish tanks, when we go to the pet store whether it be us or our children, for as young as I can remember them , we always look  for the prettiest fish, right??? At first look do we know that that pretty fish was ill or ever had been. I can tell you from experience NO!! I have brought home some gorgeous fish, and a week later I am returning a dead fish with the receipt, so I can get another fish!  What is more relaxing than being in a doctors office with a huge fish tank full of beautiful fish, I can stare at it forever, and they are so relaxing. I thought the good thing about having my kind of stroke is that nothing obvious changed, I wouldn't endure the stares & questions of those who suffer from cancer, bless their hearts!! 
 I am sure that this case worker only meant well, she probably didn't have a malicious bone in her body, and as I said I was polite, but,, I am getting darn right angry about people telling me I don't look like I have had a stroke, and if there is anyone out there with the handbook, can you tell me what I am supposed to look like?!!?
 As a society in general NONE of us SHOULD have to look a certain way, I am always told Cody doesn't look autistic, well what does autism look like? It doesn't!!!

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