My Partner in Crime

  It's 110+ and 2 fat women are standing at a blue car with a set of keys trying like hell to get into this car, we were at it for a good 20 minutes, and nothing was working! My son Daniel stopped at the post office & picked up a package for me, and gave me his car keys, at work, and told me to retrieve the package. We finally had to go in his work, OH YES!! that made his day here comes mommy & her friend, so, he comes out to the parking lot and to our surprise we were trying to get in a car that was NOT his. This car is parked in my drive way EVERYDAY, but I did not know it from another, thats just a typical day when we go out.
 For years we weren't too worried because we figured Terry had our back, he was a lawyer, and encase we accidentially got into trouble he could take care of it, but we no longer have that coverage.
 Another day, we had gone out for lunch, we call ourselves the food critics of Phoenix, because we check out every little thing about every place we eat, and to this day, I don't think we have found ANY that would rate a 10, boy do I miss my New York food, Julie is from Oregon, and I think she really likes the fact that I am a New Yorka, because she likes the slang & such, she finds my pocabook hilarious, here you have a purse!
 Then w/o going into major details, we went out for Italian, and on the way home, I announced we needed to pull into the Mc Donalds I saw on the corner, IMMEDIATELY, well, the food didn't agree with me, and a poor maybe 16 yr old kid is chasing behind me with a mop, Yea, not good!! By the time I get to the stall, there is not one piece of clothing, except my bra that isn't covered.
 I am anouncing   to Julie, in my rather loud N.Y. voice that I have no clothes, how am I going to leave McDonalds, we are far from home, The only store that was close was Walgreens, so she leaves me sitting on the thrown, and buys me clothes in WALGREENS!!! How many of you can say you clothes shop in Walgreens??? I guess beggers can't be choosy, they only has 1 size SMALL, and I was much heavier then, we are stuffing my body into these sweat pants, and I am saying this is just not going to happen, plus its 100 degrees and I am stuffed in small sweat pants, with a shirt that was so tight, it flattened my boobs as if I didn't have any. It is so funny now, but, OMGosh when it was happening I could have just died, a good friends son teases me when I visit by bringing out a mop!!
 Julie & I suffer, but, not so much anymore, of moving furniture, and I don't mean just move the couch and a table or 2, we switch rooms completely, and usually get our wires all twisted up, and can't unwind them, and every dang time, we are panicking that the UH's are coming home & they are going to blow, but, we NEVER learn, because we would do it over & over. We didn't care if things were in our way, we would just knock it down & break it, and not care, it was insane. Thankfully we have gotten too old to do that anymore, and with my UH home all day, it;s impossible to do here, because he would literally have a stroke if he saw how we moved the furniture, the banging, and scratching etc.
 There are so many funny stories, and some you just HAD to be there, but, I must say she is the BEST hospital buddy in the world, when my back was bad, she would take me to the ER and we would make it fun, we were asked to keep our voices down, and one time, they had me in a room with sliding glass doors and they locked us in, I suppose we were too loud, they wouldn't believe I was in pain, because we would be laughing so hard!!!
 Well, I just wanted to say, HAPPY 51ST BIRTHDAY to you!!
 I CAN NOT imagine my life w/o you, no one can make me laugh like you do, and you know what I am going to say before it comes out of my mouth, we are always on the same page, & understand things that others would probably think we should be in the funny farm for, don't worry, we may end up there at some point, but, if we go together & share a room, the place will never be the same.
 When we are broke, which is most of the times we go on what we call "runs" we drive in the areas in town where all the funny looking people are walking the streets, and we laugh so hard we pee, you can't imagine what kind of things we see, forget People of Walmart, they have NOTHING on the people of our runs!!
 So Jewie as Cody calls you, we have a lot of fun times a head of us, and thanks so much for being my friend & getting me through so MUCH stuff!!!   XOXOX