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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Time to say Goodbye

 I have written & re written, this blog over & over today, and have decided to just say that this is one of the most horrible days in my life.It of course involves the drama that has been going on, but seriously has me thinking of re locating out of state. I am not sure where, I haven't made it that far and I have to check into Jenn's scholarship programs, because I don't want to mess them up for her.
 I have met, & reconnected with some really awesome people here on FB, and have appreciated all of your support, and especially since the stroke, I have needed a lot!!
 My life has just took a terrible turn for the worse, and honestly, I am scared of the outcome, I do not know that I have the mental strength to get through it, the stroke has really taken a tole on me in that department, and I am hoping I have what it takes to get through this.
 For today, functioning would be a great accomplishment, but, I am not sure I can do it!
 As my daughter said, you have nothing better to do than FB in your pathetic little life.....Yep, my pathetic little life, when you do not own a car & have no money,your life becomes pathetic, wish I had more to contribute to life, more to offer, but, right now, taking care of myself has become a f/t job.
 I apologize if my blogs offend anyone, they are just a lonely old ladies way of communicating with the world, a world which I wish I played more of a part in.
 All, I really ever wanted in life was to be a mother, and I was a damn good one, regardless of anything else that is said, and I still am, my children are my life. But, for now, I will be focusing on Cody, Jenn, Daniel & Jess.
  I was told I no longer have any grandchildren, well honestly, did I ever have them??? I haven't even so much as touched 9 mos old Maddox, and Jolie, haven't had contact in almost 2 years, that is the worst kind of mental torture imaginable, I can't tell you what it has done to me.
 So, now I move on, w/o parents grandchildren, & 2 kids, you ask, is it you Kimmy, because they are all not speaking to you?? I have asked myself that 1 million times, and I certainly don't wear blinders where I am concerned, But, I haven't done ANYTHING to be kept from my grandchildren, I have allowed Megan & Scottie to use me as a door mat, and always afraid to say no to them so they "like" me, and my parents, well, how many times does it take to ask to be forgiven???

2 comments:

  1. Kim - you know how I am. I speak my mind freely and I'm going to do that now. I told Bret what I thought of all that is going on with you and he said it's easy for me to say what I would do in your situation because I'm a bitch. Well, I am, but dammit, it makes life easier when you don't let people walk all over you.

    I can't say I know everything that has gone on between you and Megan, but I have heard enough from both sides to know that you don't need to put up with it. She wants to treat you like garbage, so be it. I can't imagine how hard it would be to write off my own children or grandchildren, but if they ever put me through half the shit she puts you through I would not stand for it. You shouldn't either!

    People make mistakes, thats a part of life. It's not always easy forgiving someone, believe me! But, holding the past against you the way she has is ridiculous and extremely juvenile.

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  2. Thanks Amanda for speaking your mind, I know I can always count on that from you & appreciate it!!
    I honestly can't handle anymore "abuse" from them, now that the Lagina is back living with her, he is the master mind through out all of this. Then I invited Scott for Easter and he got angry, and said, YOU are NOT a priority in my life, well hell, I already knew that!! SInce I had the stroke, Daniel is the only one who even calld, and is the only one who will come to Jenn's sweet 16 party, Megan is jealous of jenn, and its just not right
    Have Touched my grandson, EVER and 2 years for Jolie, the pain is so much, that I MUST let it go because I will end up with another stroke if I don't!! Thanks, again!!! Love ya!!!

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