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Friday, May 6, 2011

The Love Of My Life, May the Beat go on!!!

 Well, I never thought I would be here blogging yet again, at 11pm. 
 As you all know Terry and I have been married 17 years, we have had our ups & downs, he has had cancer, a heart attack & triple by pass in 1997, a mild stroke in 2004, a massive stroke 11/07, which caused him to be on permanent disability. Last year we separated due to his alcoholism, we reunited last Sept & renewed our vows on our 17th anniversary, and we have had a few bumps in the road, but, as late things have been great, he has been so supportive, my soul mate, my best friend, just the other day, my daughter Jennifer said, I think its cool how you & dad are best friends. That really touched our hearts, knowing the hell we have been through.
 Jennifer's 16th birthday April 29, Terry was sober 1 year, which makes it a VERY special day.
 Tonight, we had a normal Friday night at home, We love shows like Dateline, and then I go off to my life time movies when he falls asleep! Friday nights have a 2hr dateline, woo-hoo!!! As, I have mentioned I have been sleeping on the couch, it is more comfortable with all my ailments, so Terry was in the sofa bed, and me right next to him on the couch. I actually started to dose, which is VERY unusual for me, and Terry gets up sweating, the a/c is on 72 and he said call 911, in all my years he has NEVER asked me to call them, I rounded up 6 dogs, & threw them in Jenn's room because she is at a friends, and then I am trying to keep Cody settled, for those who know Cody know that is near impossible.
 The paramedics seemed real concerned, his b/p was dangerously low,his EKG was bad, and he said he would need a more extensive one, and the few other tests they could run, all came up that something is wrong! They gave him IV's & oxygen, and asked the old pain scale question, he said his pain was 7, out of 10.
 So, it's been an hour now, and I am a basket case waiting to hear something, I have been cleaning my butt off, my wood floors, have been mopped, swept, and I have dusted, windexed, cleaned the bathroom,& kitchen, I need to tackle the laundry, but that can wait.
 Now remember I don't have a car, terribly helpless feeling, God forbid they "need" tonight, Julie will take me to the hospital & take Cody, if not I am going to keep this as "normal" as possible for Cody or this can be an even worse nightmare.
 So, tomorrow !@ 10 Dan & Dina will take me to the hospital and take Cody for the day. Jenn's birthday party was cancelled, I guess that is just not meant to be!! Right now all she & the rest of the family want is her daddy back safe & sound.
 I have so much garbage running through my head right now, and verbalizing them, might make them real so I will pass on that. I honestly don't know how his body can handle anymore, and I pray it can because I see a by pass on the horizon, and I can't imagine my life w/o him.
 If anything I am learning tonight is don't take people for granted, and don't focus more time on things than people, and don't focus on those who are not contributing good things to your life, that are like a cancer, cut the cancerous people out of your life, before they consume you!
 Terry, you are the one and only love of my life, I know we have both done some really stupid things, but we always manage to reconcile, and neither of us has ever cheated, thats a line that we agreed we would NEVER cross, and we didn't
 And to end this blog, I speak with a deep rooted anger, NONE of this would have happened IF we had medical insurance, Terry has been having heart issues for a few weeks, and since we have not been on disability 2 years we don't qualify for medicare, and we make too much for medicaid, whis is a joke, under $2000 a month with 2 children, I am a diabetic, had a stroke, have heart issues and these terrible daily migraines, Terry has all his meds, & Cody being autistic, has him on quite a few medications. Please Government or someone who can make a difference read my blog and use it for help, so this doesn't happen to someones father, husband, brother, grandfather etc. Their life matters just as much as the guy driving the beamer in Hollywood Hills!

1 comment:

  1. Kim,
    Waiting to hear how Terry is doing. I told my Dad. He is going to call you tomorrow to check in. Sounds like the girls both did good at Culver's. Remember when we met they were not even in kindergarten yet...
    We are keeping Terry in our prayers. Apparently some cant see it but I see that you and Terry have really come a long way this past year and have healed your relationship. Praying for his recovery.