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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Let the Pink hair Roll, Baby.....

 This morning Terry went to walmart and I fell asleep on the couch with the puppies, around 9am, in comes Dan & Terry, so up it was.
 Julie picked me up at 10:20 and we went to Mimi's cafe, lately all I can seem to keep down is smoothies, and they are nutritious so it seems like a good fit, and I am losing weight.
 When ever we go out we call it a "theme" day, for example if we were going to yard sales it would seem like ever yard sale HAD a vacuum, and we call it vacuum day, today was crazy hair day, we saw the strangest hair styles ever, even one women had pink hair, here in AZ we have a state fair commercial where the lady starts eating her hair, because it's cotton candy, well we found her this morning!!
 We were both pretty down in the dumps, but since I can't figure out how to block people from my blogs, the style of my blog is going to change, possibly, this may be my last, because it's hard when you can't completely SAY how you are FEELING, kind of defeats the whole purpose of blogging.
 It seem they want to take everything from me, that they can.
 Honestly, I am feeling pretty defeated and knowing that my blogs are being read, printed and will be used at a convenient time, takes the freedom away, Its sad, because regardless if you enjoy it or not, I enjoy writing and there is very few things I enjoy these days, I find it very therapeutic, but again, they must steal my thunder. I am not sure what I am going to do about the blogging, but, I have 1 more to blog, one with humor and away from my "drama" 
 I thank those who sincerely read my blogs, with the best intentions, who reached out a hand when I so needed one, I felt your hand, your hugs., your love, I appreciated your support, advice & sharing similar situations in your life, as mine, I can't tell you how often you brought me back from a bad place. I am hoping I can find a way to continue to blog with freedom,
 I think I have figured out the problem, my family does not understand my emotional make up and theirs is so different from mine, they they expect, almost order me to feel their way and when I don't I get yelled at & condemned, I wrote in a previous blog that I have visions of when Terry passes away I will be alone, with my dogs, because my kids won't care to help me, except Daniel my oldest & Jennifer my youngest, and I received an email, blasting me about how they didn't know Terry was dying, and it was very condescending, so basically, what I am saying is EVERYTHING is taken wrong, and adds to another nail in my cross. I can't live under that kind of microscope. They don't understand, they make me sound mean & Uncaring, and I am the opposite, my friends can tell you otherwise, people who have been my friends for over 30 years.
 Today, Terry & I had a very good 4 way call with our dear friends L&D and they gave me some very good advice, and my husband, also has been amazingly supportive, if I could only get a shot of good thoughts, and positive thinking every 4 hrs, instead of medication, I would be  a happy camper!
 Thank you all for suppoting me by reading my blog, I hope to work this out so I can continue it, feed back appreciated!!

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