The blog has moved

 Dear blog followers, I now have 2 blogs going at once, I won't be using this one as often, because it has been hacked into a few times.
 I can see by my tracker, that a lot of you are still checking in everyday, which I sooo appreciate!!
 This is the link to my new blog kimmydalylavoie.blogspot.com  the new blog is called SMELL THE ROSES
 I look forward to seeing you at my new site. It is the same blog, with some added features, I have a lot of pics & stories about people who have influenced my life, I also share my former business with you, and will be posting quick & good recipes once a week, and of course there will be my daily thought!
 Thank you so much for following me! Blessings!! Kimmy

I have been Hacked!

  I eagerly awoke this morning, looking forward to a visit from a very old friend & her hubby, from Los Angeles, Kathy & I haven't seen each other since Sept, and over the past few years, that was quite a stretch.
 I went about my morning routine, and when it got to FB time, that's when my day started going down the crapper.
 I log in, as I always do, and FB, so kindly informs me I have been hacked, and my account has been locked. GREAT, and you have a wonderful day, too!
 I worked for hours trying to unlock my account with no avail. I finally had to stop, because I was stuck in the same place for hours, and it didn't look like I was going to figure it out on my own.
 Well, we have 2 computer genus' our own Amanda Laswell, & Kathy's hubby. Well, what a coincidence, he would be coming over later!
 This one is on you, sorry buddy, I HATE to ask you to work while we are visiting, BUT live w/o FB, not an option!!!
 Have you ever tried a day w/o FB, you feel as though the world has come to a screeching halt, your entire routine feels off, how DID we survive w/o FB, and if for some reason we could no longer have FB, it would seriously be devastating, OK< the hubby is cracking up, but, it's true, try a day w/o it, and you will see.
 Come on, can you imagine a day w/o knowing who's relationship went from married to it's complicated, or a post saying someone was In a relationship? And what about all the requests for farming stuff, now that I really could do w/o!!!
 You can't go to bed without reading what delicacy J made for dinner, or if K's dog is feeling better, and that last try at beating your friends score on the many games you play
 All I knew was I was NOT even going to chance life w/o it!!!
 Kathy's hubby came through, again!!! and thanks to him you are reading this blog right now!!! OK, I know, a few of you are thinking Gee thanks, Kathy's hubby, another night of reading the blog, UGH!!....  LOL

CORNVILLE, AZ

Cornville, Arizona, yes, that is what I said, it is a iddy biddy little town with not a thing there but Pine trees & cabins, and yes, by the way, you have no phone service there, no matter what the provider, you have to have a land line. You ask, what was I doing there? My good friend Julie & I went on a womans retreat from Church, honestly the place was beautiful, but, for this New York girl a little too far out in the woods, at night, it was pitch black, the sky was beautiful, you could see every star for miles & miles.

 We stayed in a big cabin, that required going up a huge flight of stairs, which we spent most of the weekend going up & down those stairs. And due to my OCD problems, different blog, LOL, I did not sleep a wink the 2 nights we were there. The best part of the weekend was when we snook out and drove, not knowing where we were, until we finally found an antique store!!!

 As the weekend progressed, so did my back pain, between the rock hard bed, and the stairs, it was killing me.

 We left Sunday morning, took the scenic drive home, through Prescott and hit a few more antique stores. Can you tell yet, that we love antique stores??

 As that week went on my back & legs began to hurt more & more, and by friday, I felt like I had a blood clot in my leg, the pain was unbareable, I could not get my left leg comfortable, so at 9pm, we went to the ER, Julie took my kids. They took me right in, did an MRI, and admitted me, I had the greatest nurse, he was a gay man, who was so entertaining, and made what could have been a living hell, a not so bad time. 

 Of course I am there on a weekend, so not much could be done, I basically got the morphine, and that kept me semi comfortable.

 Now, it is Nov 5, a day before Cody's birthday, and as you know Cody is autistic, mentally retarded & bi polar, he has NO FILTERS. Well Nov 6 is his birthday, and he says to me, MOM , please don't die because that will really mess up my birthday!!!  Well, Thank you, sir Cody, wouldn't want to do that!!

 OK, finally, it's MONDAY YAY!!! a doctor is in the house, and his name is Dr. Hott, and I am NOT joking, and he lived up to his name, HOT he was & from NY, can it get any better than this???

 Well, Doctor Hott, had me transferred to another hospital, and told me I had no other choise but to get the surgery, which I was admantly fighting against, but, he & my family won the battle, he told me I would have the surgery the next day, spend about 4 days at the Hospital, and then go to rehab for a few weeks.

 It was a Tuesday morning, and I  was prepped for surgery & remember seeing Terry, Cody & My parents, and when I woke up I saw the same people, I was very drugged up, so wasn't feeling any pain.

 From what I have been told I had no clue between night & day, I called my son Daniel @ 2am and told him I was watching a Giraffe give birth, I called Julie and told her their were mice under my bed, and she needed to come get me, and it was 3am, she was getting ready to come get me, and her husband said, SHE WON'T REMEMBER SHE IS ON MORPHINE, and as much as I hate to agree with a man, he was right! I had no clue of the many phone calls I had made, and the crazy things I was saying. Apparently, I told a friend I  was a wedding planner for Brangelina, well I guess I failed miserably at my job, because that was 2005, and they are yet to be married!!!

 Healing, was difficult,I guess between my age & diabetes, it took quite sometime, I had spent 18 days in the hospital, and I wanted to go home so bad!!

 Me being true to form, I had my dad & Terry moving furniture around for me, because I would be walking with a walker for sometime, and I needed to make sure I could  fit through the spaces/ I must say, they did a pretty good job, and that was the first & last time they have ever moved furniture for me, again!

 I went to the rehab hospital, and honestly, don't remember much, they had me on so much morphone, that I was lucky to remember my name, my mom & Julie complained about them lowering the dosage, and it was much easier for them to have me completely doped up, so they didn't have to deal with me, than to have me on less meds, and OH MY, I MIGHT ACTUALLY CALL THE NURSES STATION!

 It was such a humiliating experience, I could not bend to wipe myself because of my back, so instead of sending a female nurse they send me a 30 something male nurse, EVERYTIME, to wipe me, I was somewhere between completely humiliating, and tears of shame. I dreaded going to the bathroom, and then it happens, I get the runs, and Mr. Good looking is sent in to clean me up, sponge bath style. After that I lost it, here I sit, I have had 5 kids, my boobs hang down to my belly button, and my stomach looks like a map of the US due to stretch marks, I know, so attractive, anyone reading this will never be interested in taking me out!!! LOL, so I called my mom crying, well, my mom's NY came out when she got to the hospital and after that I had no more men for ANYTHING!!!!

 18 days later I was released, I was told I would have to continue the therapies out patient. Terry took me into walmart, because I insisted I needed a pedi, and had to pick up the stuff, not thinking this through, I could NOT bend down, so my girls were giving me a pedi!!! Well, I get in one of thise electric carts & due to the morphone, I crash it into a jewelry rack, Oh yes, Terry just walked away and I was trying to explain, needless to say we left walmart!

 He took me home, and left to fill my scripts, well once I knew he was gone, I am on my hands & knees, scrubbing the floors, dusting, windexing,  and of course I had to vacuum, so I used it like a walker and away I went!! The only bad part, I  was caught, while the vacuum ran, Julie came in, and I was like OMG, she was so mad, she said I could have done it. The thing is Terry did it, being OCD, it was not good enough and if Julie did it, it would have been the same!!....I promise the OCD will be an upcoming blog!!!

 I was laid up for week & weeks, and became addicted to HGTV, and repeatedly called my dad, asking him if he could do a project for me, my dad was praying for my full recovery so I would stop watching HGTV.

 Eventually, I was up & around, and unfortunately, had another back surgery 18 mos later, again, another blog!!

 But, my advie to you is if you want your wedding planned don't call me, aparently I stink at it!!!

me & Julie, my partner in crime!

• • 
    

Crossing a line

 Those of you who follow my blog on a regular basis, know that last month I posted some pretty personal heavy duty stuff about what was going on in my life, I had just had a stroke, and my brain was quite scrambled. It created, or I should say I created a mess of my life, by allowing my emotions to control me. I had too much going on at one time, and couldn't handle everything at once, and in all honesty, I have yet to feel "normal" physically or emotionally since the stroke. The reality was that stuff was going on, I should NOT have posted in the detail that I did, not giving other people a choice if their names were mentioned, I took it upon myself to make that decision for us all, and I am sorry.

 I have learned that I can't handle certain issues in my life, and that is the root to everything I have felt, and I am working on things, as best as I can.

 I just want to say that I am sorry to those I offended, for those of you who thought I crossed a line, and I am putting my life in God's hands, and will see where he leads me.

 In the meantime, I feel confident in saying that, I am beyond heart broken that Megan & Scott, my 2 children are not speaking to me, nor am I allowed to see my grandchildren, those who know me, KNOW that my ex husband can not allow the kids to have a relationship with both of us, and once he returned to Phoenix the problems, started and we were all done w/i a week. This is typical, this is NOT something I have a problem posting, because it defines where I am in life right now. However, I will not be posting it again, I just want you to know that, that issue is unresolved, probably never will be, and my goal is to let go, of MY children & grandchildren, I am finding that the hardest thing in my life to do, but, it is a must, or I will end up with no family. If I am hurting I will blog and just make a reference to dealing with "my loss". 

 I just wanted to apologize, explain, update and say Thank you to the many people that have stuck by me, and got me through, I am sorry to my parents for the things I said, no excuse, and I pray life moves forward from here!....GOD BLESS!!!!

THE FINAL ROSE

 Thursday of next week is our last day of school, the Seniors last day was today. Being in special ed, Cody has had an assistant assigned to him all year, a sweet girl named Jennifer, Cody really liked & respected her, and she knew how to work Cody, to the point that he thought he was working her, that takes skill!
 Well, The Poor Code man, comes walking off the bus holding 1 red rose, he looked like he was just given a rose on the final episode of the Bachelor, I couldn't tell if they were good tears or bad. 
 I said, "Cody, whats wrong?" He said Jennifer gave me this rose its her last day. He was happy & sad.
 First off, he had never gotten a rose from anyone before, so he was proud as can be, and he was sad that Jennifer would no longer be working with him.
 I explained to him, how Jennifer will always be in his heart, as a good memory & he would always have that, and next year, there would be a new aide, a new friendship, and something to look forward to. He seemed to understand what I was saying.
 So, he proudly has his rose in a vase in his room, asking me every hour if he needs to water it, and he is not getting the concept about flowers & their watering, I guess this will become a new lesson learned, taking care of cut flowers.
 Life is hard for all of us, but, even more so for special needs children, and so many people out there really touch their heart and don't realize how much. I thank you Jennifer for giving Cody a pleasant learning experience, & for touching his heart, and making a difference!

HAPPY FLUSHING!

 I think it would be miraculous, if, everyone went to bed, human, & dog, went to sleep, for the entire night and there were no natural disasters,& such, and we all just got a good old fashioned night sleep!!! BUT.......hell isn't freezing over anytime soon, and I think we have the same odds!!
 Last night, I should have known, Cruella de Cody took his shower w/o an argument, and on time, from day one Cody has never wanted to take a shower, it is a major part of his respite plan, and home care, now that he is almost 18 a shower is much needed more often, and he will argue to the bitter end, I dread dinner ending, because I know we will be broaching the shower issue shortly and it usually is a night mare, Not only did he take his shower he went to bed without incident.
 We went through our nightly routine, we sleep on a sofa bed in the living room, so when everyone is showered and done coming in & out of the kitchen we tell them, ok, the room is now our bedroom so if you need anything now would be a good time to get it, and they are not allowed in the living room until morning. You have to have some privacy, and time to unwind w/o the kids, so we start watching Army wives, we love that, have been watching it since it aired. Dracula even got in bed, and we did not hear him converse with us as Dracula all night!
 Terry was asleep after Army wives, I turned on Lifetime movie network, and I was set for the night, I usually don't stay up THAT late, I normally watch my last movie @ 11- 1, but, tonight there was a real good one coming on @ 1-3. 
 I had that terrible headache all weekend, and couldn't sleep, I had taken every med that I could and about 2:30am decided to take some ibuprofen, OH MY STARS, NOT AGAIN!!!!!, as I walk in the bathroom I have entered Niagra falls!!Water just pouring endlessly into the bathroom, down the hallway, it was the same nightmare that ruined the carpets weeks ago, and now it's going to give it a go on the wood floors, I had to wake Terry up, well he doesn't like being woken up, and I KNOW he is not going to like this, so Sammy gave us a break from Dracula, and Terry decided to play the role of Dracula last night. We used every towel we own, which is a lot, and quilts to absorb the water as quickly as we could, and it was by no means an easy task, we threw all the wet linens in the tub, until morning, and have been doing laundry for hours, & hours!
 As the water is now turning into a river in the hallway the puppies have discovered it and are trying to lick it up, Thanks guys, every little bit helps!!!We would need a few Rottweiler's to make a dent in that river, but, they gave it their best!
 We finally finished this fiasco @4am, missed the ending to my movie, and now the headache was a full blown migraine! I just hopped in bed, cuddled with my puppies and went to sleep for the 2 hrs until the kids get up for school. When they left, I took a heavy duty pill, and went into Jennifer's room with 2 of the dogs and went back to sleep.I woke up feeling like I had the worst hangover in the world, and believe me, I am not a drinker, I have probably only had maybe 3 hang overs in my life! I then realized I had a doctor's appointment, and there was no way I was going to make it, since I needed to leave NOW, and as I walked in the living room Terry said, OH my Gawd you look like hell!! And a good morning to you, too! But, he was right, I looked & felt like I had been hit by a truck!
 Bless his heart, the entire apartment was spotless and the floors were all done, you never would have known there was a major flood less than 12 hrs before, and now he is getting me Jamba juice!!! I don't know what happened to the "other" Terry, but, I really would like to keep this one around!!, just sayin
 I can't even say I don't  know what kind of day this is going to be, because, I don't remember yesterday actually ending, and today beginning, so the best I am hoping for is a peaceful day, getting the toilet fixed, YET AGAIN!!!and as much quiet that is humanly possible with 6 puppies & 4 humans, one being Cody! Happy Flushing!

SAMMY GOES DRACULA

 AS you know our family just keeps growing, that is our "puppy" family, We started 7 years ago, with Crissy, and almost 4 years ago with Sammy, 18 mos ago with Lacey, Lacey & Sammy, well, lets just say had an encounter one night, which resulted in Lucy, Treasure & Wally! Each one of these puppies have a personality of their own, each loving, & endearing in their own way. I know,...I blog about them way too often, its like they are my grandchildren, Until my kids get started in that area, I guess I will have to keep pushing the pups!!!
 Well one of our precious little ones took a personality turn, for the worse, Sammy, he is the Morkie, Yorkie/Maltese, he has always been sensitive, and made his moods very clear, and we would say he needed prozac, but, he was always sweet, unless he didn't know you, especially if you were a man.And whats wrong with that?  LOL
 The very first time I realized this was back in 2008 when Terry spent an extended stay in the hospital, Sammy slept with us, every night, he wouldn't dream of sleeping anywhere else, while Terry was in the hospital he slept up against the front door, like a statue, I don't think he moved once. For the next 2 years Terry had many extended stays in the hospital due to complications from his major stroke in Nov 2007 and each time, Sammy became more & more over protective, if a car drove past our house, he'd grawl, my dad used to laugh and say he sounds vicious, but, then you see him, he is the size of a cat with  legs that are maybe 3" long!! Very intimidating for Bruno & his counterpart breaking in.
 Well, it has been along while since Terry has been in the hospital, and last Friday night he had a heart attack & spent 2 nights in the hospital. I wasn't really thinking much about the dog and his sleeping arrangements, but, once it was bedtime, the statue was up against the front door again, and I just let him do his thing.
 Since Terry has been home he has been Sammy by day, Dracula by night, I don't even think prozac would cut it this time. He still insists on sleeping up against the door, ok, thats fine, EXCEPT that our door is in an outside corridor of other apartment doors, so anytime, anyone goes in or out, and makes a noise, he sounds like  a Rottweiler, and this starts as soon as its dusk, a few nights he came to the foot of the bed late at night, and has now developed a "voice" I will say, Hi Sammy, coming night night, and it's not a pleasant voice, its like he is Dracula or something, and he is saying leave me the heck alone, I want to sleep, I am exhausted from protecting this apartment!
 Dracula, loved going on walks, if you leashed him 100x's a day he would go, now, normally, I have puppy pads down, because I have designer dogs, and live in an apartment, so if he doesn't go out he will go on the pad, well, since Terry was in the hospital he will no longer go out, he cries for the leash, you get it on he goes to the door, and then runs like heck in the other direction.
 I don't know if he is afraid if he goes out when he gets back his daddy will be gone, so between the "leashcapades" The statue at the door & Dracula, this dog is  grading on my nerves & I am ready to give him a good ole shot of Jack Daniels tonight!! And if I don't, I can assure you one of my neighbors will!!!
 We are approaching dusk, so lets see what Dracula has in store for me tonight!!!

LIFE, AS IT IS

Spent the day just lazing around, as I planned, tee-hee, slept in, watched lifetime movies, & caught up with emails, and I had an enormous amount of personal emails, and FB emails, asking me how Terry and I were doing, so I figured todays blog would be an update on how we both are doing, and we do, so much appreciate all your concern & prayers.
 Terry keeps forgetting he JUST had a heart attack last Friday night, and the first 2 days home from the hospital he is out & about running errands, I kept telling him, he can't do that, well, by Thursday he could not get out of bed! So, since then he is spending more time resting and less time busying himself, he is just going a bit stir crazy, which I totally understand, BUT, he really needs to take this seriously, he has had way too many serious health issues, God's not going to keep giving him more chances, he's had more than most!! 
 He was so sweet today, You know I just love Jamba Juice, my daughter Jennifer got me started on it, and fortunately or unfortunately, which ever way you look at it, we have one directly across the street from us, that is how I lost I my 20+ lbs since the stroke, we were watching the end of a lifetime movie and he went to DVR it, I said, what are you doing? He said, well I don't want to miss the ending? I said, where are you going? He said To get you Jamba Juice!!! I was so thrilled, I had been craving it ALL day long, and didn't say anything, because we really can't afford it and I didn't want to send him out, what a lucky gal I am today! I could live on one of those a day & a small meal, and I would be fixed for life, and don't forget my diet flavored green tea! SO, as I type my blog here, I am sipping away at my jamba juice.
 As far as how I am feeling, in all honesty, I don't want to whine, but, I really haven't felt well since my stroke, good days bad days, or just life at almost 50. This is our hard time of the year, Once it hits 100, it really does play havoc with your body, mainly my head, so the already annoying headaches become far worse, and I seem to have more days than not that I don't feel well, I just pray that I feel well the days I have plans, like yesterday was a bummer, because I had been looking so forward to seeing Jessica & Daniel for dinner, and I felt so lousy and there wasn't ANYTHING that was going to help me feel better!
 Time for another one of those life time movies with my jamba juice!!! Blessings everyone!!!

IF MOMMA AINT HAPPY AINT NOBODY HAPPY!!!!

Sheesh, what a crazy nights sleep we had here last night. I literally COULD not stop sweating, my hair is fairly long these days, and I was able to twist water out of it, I continued to knock the air lower & lower all night, as the night progressed, so did the body ache, and then it hit me, I am getting sick, GRREAT, Daniel & Jessica are coming for dinner, and it has taken us months to narrow down a date, you know these young people. I also woke up with one of my headaches, took my pill, and 6 hrs later, still had the headache, OOOPS! thats NOT supposed to happen, and it hasn't happened since I started these meds, so luckily it had been 6 hrs and was able to take another pill, lets just say, I could take pills until the cows come home today and this headache aint going no where!!

 I swept the floors & dusted real quick, & tried lying down for a while, I had chicken marinating in Buttermilk,I was making Daniel his favorite southern fried chicken, and then I though, RUT ROW< if Terry's cardiologist could talk to me now, it wouldn't be pretty! Last Sat he asked me to throw the deep fryer out! Honestly, I can live w/o it, but, Terry enjoys his fried food, but, it obviously don't enjoy him.

 So, I prepared the dinner ranch roasted red potatoes, fried chicken & corn, and then we FINALLY had that birthday cake for Daniel & Jennifers, birthdays, the 1st & 29th.Red Velvet cake, Jennifer chose the flavor, and within a few hours she was off again! These last 2 weeks have been crazy for her with school ending, she is now a Varsity Cheerleader, and she had to teach the Juniors, they had their cheer dinner last night, and their Avid award dinner Thursday, at one point, she breezed through the house, and I said, JENNIFER, you must be Jennifer!!

 We all seemed relaxed & a nice time had by all and then Cruella de Cody made an appearance, it wasn't too bad, because he was leaving at 5:30 for his awards ceremony for special needs little league, and Terry wanted to go with him, honestly, neither of us were up to it, but, this HAS ALWAYS been a father son activity they have shared together, so Terry didn't want to miss. Sarah even offered to take him for us, but, Terry insisted on going, and it is miserably hot out there so, I am not expecting him to be feeling good when he gets home. Tomorrow is going to be a day of vegging, sports & Lifetime movies!

 It was good to see Daniel & Jessica, and I wish they would just get married, already, every time they go to Vegas, I ask, and I always get NO, MOM!! Well, ya can't blame me for wanting grandchildren, that I can see!!!

 My precious little puppies were just that last night, nothing like the way they behaved the night before, I don't know if they grew horns that one night or what, but,they refused to go to bed. Today, there have been no accidents, that always makes for a good day in my book!

 Since I had my stroke I have dropped 20 lbs, I am really hoping I can keep this going, I have totally detoxed from sugar, because I actually turned away cake tonight, I don't think I have EVER done that before, or maybe I am not just sick, sweaty with a fever, I am dying and no one is telling me! I might want to take a harder look at this situation! Whatever it is, I am liking it and I hope to continue with it!

If MOMMA AINT HAPPY AINT NOBODY HAPPY < remember those words to live by and you will ALWAYS be happy!!!...try it, it's true!!!

The 3 extremitries

The past few days have been extreme for us in many ways, for starters, we have hit 100 degrees, or pretty close to it, just about everyday. We have been discussing whether or not we should invest putting a ceiling fan in the living room, which is where we sleep, the only room they put ceiling fans in are the dining rooms, which make soMUCH sense to me, because why would I want my food to cool down quicker? As in everything else is Arizona, its ass backwards,After 21 years, I am still trying to get used to their twisted logical way of doing things, and I don't think I will ever get it, maybe by the time I do, it will be time for me to check out!!
 For now, the dilemma is solved, we are so broke, we can't even afford a mislay little fan, I should & will be Thankful for air conditioning!!
 It has been a week today since Terry's heart attack, and instead of getting better, he is getting worse, I really believe he over did it the first few days, because, he made light of the situation, after all, he only had a stent put in, no by pass, no life support, like the usual things he is used to having done.Granted a stent is not as complicated as a by pass, but, anytime they go into your heart, it can't be good, it is some kind of warning sign, like the cheap colored Christmas lights flashing in a cheap hotel window BY THE HOUR!!! and if he doesn't start taking better care of himself, thats all he may have!
 Extremity, Part 2, Lets just say we had a conversation that was TMI, which honestly is this gals way, she really means well, she just likes to "share" things with others, that most  people don't like to  share. Lets just say, I may never pass this way again! Hey, Seals & Crofts 1979 our High School prom dance!! I could easily live another day in my life w/o EVER going down that road, or that conversation, AGAIN!!
 Well, gee, here I am, I have lost track, been 5-6 wks since my stroke, and I still am waiting to feel normal, ok, so maybe I should redefine what normal is, am I asking for too much? Maybe! I know there are people with far more damage than I, so why am I complaining, I should be happy that for the most part my life is "normal", there are just these minor complications here & there, and the things I hate the most are the episodes of confusion. Tomorrow will be a test to see if I have made any progress in this area, we are having Daniel & Jessica over for dinner, and Cody is staying home from respite to see them, and @ 5:30 Cody has his last special olympics games of the year, and Jennifer starts her first day of work, so I am not even sure if she is going to be home, this is just the kind of confusing day I was mentioning, I tend to get all weighed down, with when such & such a thing must come out of the oven, etc. It usually always works out, so it's time I hooked up with the swiffer and stopped worrying, you did say right??? Not only did you recommend the swiffer, since we recently got wood floors, the kind man who was a head of maintenance at ARROWHEAD Hospital, recommended, a rubber maid mop, that you make your own solutions, because, lets face it not every spill requires the same solution, the pads are microfiber, and machine or hand wash, and you receive several pads, now that makes swiffer look just plain ole boring!!I can't wait until I can get myself a new rubber maid mop!!! The things we look forward to later in life, well just think, as your spouse we must be so much easier to shop for since, we have collected most of our jewelry, and are getting ready to give some to our daughters!
 And the last Extremity #3, we have collected 6 dogs along the way, Crissy, the little white shaggy terrier, we have had the longest 7 years now, then Sammy, he is getting close to 4, he is a morkie, he is actually a funny looking guy, he is part maltese, part Yorkie, when Sammy turned 3, my friend Dee was breeding SHih_tzu's, and OF COURSE I HAD to HAVE one, so there became Lacey, due to pure neglect on my part, Lacey went into pregnant and BINGO, Sammy got Lacey Preggo's, so they were just born Jan 5, 2011, and they are call shorkie-tzu's, I held lacey in her bed from 10:30am, until &pm at night, that poor little girl was under 18 mos old and what a trooper she was,she birthed 4 pupies, 3 black boys, and 1 girl who is black & white and looks like her/ We named them all, Lenny, Wally,Treasure & Lucy, the little girl, we loved Lenny & were going to keep him, and for some unknown reason Lenny got sick, and died & we were devastated, and then from our 2 weeks of not bonding with the others, we went into over drive, and bonded with these babies, and there was no way we were going to be able to get rid of any of them!! Remember now, we live in a 2 bedroom apartment!, Normally these babies know what night night means, and they all run off to where they sleep and go to bed when its time, well, NOPE, not last night, I was on the computer @1 :30am, because they were loud, obnoxious, playing with their stuffed tigger
 So, here it is 7:30pm, Terry is asleep in bed, I am doing the blog, Jen is at work, and Cody is eating popcorn watching a movie, and I don't find sleepytime too far off, myself!
 Lets hope tomorrow finds itself much better than today, and lets hope that tonight has last night beat, hands down!!!

The neurotic mother

 So, all day yesterday blogger was down, and I was going insane, I had so many things I  wanted to blog about, and then the last event of my day is  what I am blogging about.
 For some reason I was browsing facebook, and I happened to notice that Jessica, Daniel's fiance was no longer on any of our accounts, I went into a state of panic, first thought being Oh no, what did I say, and then OH MY GOD they broke up, he must be devastated, and the list went on and on and on. 
 so, what do I do, what any crazy over protective mother of a 29 year old would do , call him @ 1:30am, and SURPISE!!! I get voice mail!!! Then about 15 minutes later Jessica calls back, and told me she had a virus in her computer and last time she just cleared her account, and it went away.
 I took the phone in the bathroom so I didn't wake up the entire household, well, those of you who know me, know I have a hard time keeping my voice down, true to form, Terry comes walking in as I am hanging up, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO??? I said Jessica, and he just looked at me very strange, and I guess he figured I am NOT going to go there!!!!
 She just started a new job with dish network, she had been going to school f/t, but, Daniel lost his job to a p/t job until college basketball starts up, so their system seems to be working well for them.
 Jessica proceeds to tell me that when she walked in the door, it smelled so good, Daniel had made her spaghetti & Meatballs, my  meatball recipe??!!!I was so proud of him!! Then she told me I did a really good job raising him, that he cooks & cleans, is kind & respectful, there are no better words that a mother wants to hear. Daniel was always a good, respectful kid, always helpful, but clean??? You got me on that one!!....But, according to my mom my room was like a trash can & as soon as I got my own place, over night I became OCD clean, sooooo, stranger things have happened.
 Daniel's favorite dinner was always my southern friend chicken, so tomorrow, they are coming for dinner, southern fried chicken, ranch, red roasted potatoes, & corn, all his favorites.
 I don't care how old your child is, you are always going to worry and for some reason the bad thoughts come into your head a lot quicker than the good thoughts, why is  that? Once a mother, always a mother, there are no favorites, despite what my second & third would say, it is just different with your first, for some people it is in a good way, for others it is in a bad way, In my particular case, it is in a good way
 I am proud that I raised a good, thoughtful, responsible young man, who doesn't hesitate to do his part. I know he will make an excellent husband some day and you can't blame a mom for hoping, he will make an awesome dad, they say they don't want kids, I said that, and  I have 5!!!
  Either way, I am proud of them both, they are both awesome kind, loving, responsible people who together will go far in life, they compliment each other very well. We love you both!!  XOXO

CONSTANT CHANGED ROUTINES

Day 5 since Terry had his heart attack, he came home from the hospital late in the day Sunday, What a mothers Day present! But, I have watched him over do it more & more each day, and I would normally say, you can't tell a man to slow thing down, but, in all fairness, us women are no different! 
 He has been walking, which is good, BUT I think he started out too much, too soon, and he has been running errands, that I keep offering to do, but, since he usually deals with the finances etc. he is insisting he HAS to do these errands so he can keep on top of things.
 Today he finally realized OH GEE< I had a heart attack, & a stent out in and I think I am supposed to rest to heal. I was very proud of him, you know we sleep in a pull out sofa bed in the living room, and he actually said he was leaving the bed out all day so he can rest in bed. And then last night, we had a good friend call and he wanted to come by today, and he had me tell him no, that he NEEDED to take it completely easy today. I am glad that he is listening to his body, and I pray that he continues to do so.
 I must say I am giving myself a mental health day today, I am sitting here typing on the recliner, the kids are in school, and that is VERY short lived, and our entire routine will change, YET AGAIN!! Is maybe that what life is ALL about, constant changed routines, and learning how to go with the flow?
 It seems like our family has had a lot of that going on, first my stroke, and honestly, we haven't bounced back from that change,and just as we were coming up with some kind of new routine, Terry has a heart attack, so the routine, or somewhat OF A routine changes again. AND THE BAD NEWS IS, I am like Cody and I can't stand any kind of change in my routines, so this is becoming a lesson for me, and not an enjoyable one, at best. But, as I always say, if you can learn something from whatever situation you are going through, than it's worth the pain, anguish, and whatever miserable feeling you are feeling, and hopefully, you learn a new lesson, and never repeat that behavior again, because what is the definition of insanity: If you do what you always do, you are going to get what you've always gotten.And I think I have learned enough lessons to validate I am insane, because I am a creature of havoc, & tend to constantly react the same way, my goal now, is to try and learn how to react differently.
 In the meantime, I hope that me & my family, and this game called LIFE can make the best of it, because, honestly, what else REALLY does matter?? Feel better, Terry, stay rested, & remember you are NOT superman!!!

Thank you mom & Dad

As most of you know, who follow my blog, we owed my parents $100, we mailed it out to them last week, but, it has not cleared the bank. Jennifer is in the process of getting a new cell phone contract, and we were advised to close our checking account, to assure they don't keep taking payment, so, Terry called my dad today & he wasn't home, and he explained the situation to my mom & asked him to call back. So, I just signed on FB, and my mom said remember that situation it is all ripped up & taken care of. 
 True to my word, I believe in giving credit where credit is due, too, that was a very generous thing to do, especially under the circumstances given for over a month now, we have not been speaking and some terrible words have been exchanged.
 If we could just forget the bad, and go with the good, and focus on the good, what a better place this world would be.If we could all just learn how to swallow our pride, and treat others the way we choose to be treated, this world would be a much better place to live in.
 I am sorry to both my parents and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for writing off that debt, that is very hard for us to pay right now, while trying to gather medications, because our insurance has officially ran out, days after Terry's heart attack and a month after my stroke.
 Again, we thank you very much!!!  XOXO

Thrifting, pampering & keeping in style for a dime!!

For about a year now I have been using garnier nutrisse hair color, white chocolate,whats funny is it never comes out the same color twice, so I have tried a few other ones that were similar, and the roots, even though I do them first & longer they remain darker, and when I put my hair up, you can REALLY notice the difference, the pony tail is platinum blond, and the roots are not!!! SO, what color is my hair?I can probably answer that best by answering what color my hair is NOT!!
 I do like garnier nutrisse, it conditions your hair nicely, and and it doesn't run all over the place, and the instructions are simple, if you want a simple, do it yourself at home hair dye I recommend garnier nutrisse, but, your box can say vanilla mocha,white chocolate, caramel blond,and probably six other names, and you will virtually end up with the same color.


 However, you do save yourself quite a bit of money, and I find the condition of your hair to be as nice as the professional quality from a salon
 If you are looking to be a smart shopper this is the way to go if, you are looking for pampering  the salon is the way to go, but either way, you will get a nice coloring, and your hair will be in good condition, & as close to the color as you want it to be.

I have talked quite a few people into going the "poor mans" way, and they have actually been happy with garnier nutrisse, if you do decide to try, please let me know what you think!


 In todays economy it certainly helps to be alble to still pamper yourself, and save a buck while doing so. The first thing to go is usually our mani/pedi, hair cut/color, and as soon as we loose those things we start feeling badly about ourself, and then hopeless about our situations, so you see, it is very important to keep up with yourself when times are tough, to keep you from feeling down in the dumps. I have gone in a few thrift stores where I found a knock off coach bag really cheap, boy did that make my day!  and a lot of clothes for next to nothing, I walked out with flip flops, slip ons shoes, a denim skirt, 2 shirts, & 2 denim shorts all for $9.45. I haven't "thrifted" in a while, I think it's time to make a date with my thrifting buddy really soon!!
 When planning your weekend, later on in the week, think about yard sales & thrift stores!!!

SOCK MEET PANTIES

I have seriously been sound asleep twice tonight, both times Cody woke me up with a migraine, I gave him immitrex a heavy duty migraine medication, well, here we are 2 hrs doing it again, after this he can only have motrin, so this better do the trick! So, now instead of falling asleep and getting woken up again, I decided to stay awake, watching a lifetime movie, of course, and throw a load of laundry in, and What really bugs me is where all the matches go?? The socks, the panties  etc? Some are brand stinking new and I can't find it's match. DO they have a match.com going on in there and the losers never find the light of day? Is it that easy, the loser collector comes around once a day and collects the unmatching, see if some match, match them up & discard the rest? This has been going on my entire laundry life, which is a very long time! And everyone has the same complaint, so there is something to this theory, I just haven't figured it out, yet!!! 

 The Second part about this that bothers me is why does my whole family think I KNOW where the un matching piece is, it is always mom, "wheres those brown boxers I bought last week? How the hell do I know I am not wearing them on my ass!!!

 If I knew where everything was that they thought I did, I would be a millionaire, I'd know all the answers to jeopardy & who wants to be a millionaire.

 All my problems would be over!! I suppose someone far more ocd than I could design a list of what goes in the wash, wash day & what comes out, & try and devise a pattern, ans it would involve a lot of searching next to the machines, behind etc, but, lets face it, I don't have enough time to find a missing paper,a coupon or anything else, and if you are a mom, well that right there has moved you up to miraculous state, where you know where everything is, what is wrong, and everything is your fault. Please people if i HAVEN'T covered it all please add to it!!!! And when you ask your husband or kids whats wrong and you get nothing, it MEANS SOMETHING & YOU BETTER PAY DAMN CLOSE. No on ever said life would be easy, but those missing pieces of  laundry really have me confused pre stroke!!!

 unless something out of my terrible control happens, we are going to take it light & easy on these blogs, I think we could all use a light & easy , mindless, relaxing experience about silly things such as Seinfeld episodes!

The Routine will be changing soon!!!!

 Here it is Monday, May 9, 2011, a new week, the kids are back at school for their finally stretch, Jennifer got her new clothes from Walmart yesterday, she needed khakis, a black belt, and black shoes, NO, I won't say it, TENNIS SHOES!!! Thats what they call them here, and I REFUSE!!!!!!
 Terry seems to have over done it a bit, but, we all knew that would happen.Men have this hero complex,thing, they can do all things, and never have to ask for directions!
 He feels like a man of accomplishment today, he got  me to eat a full meal, for about 2 weeks straight I have had a smoothie about 11am, and then a plain lightly creamed cheese bagel around 6pm, and I drink diet green tee all day long/ Today I had the smoothie & potatoes, and dinner,chicken marsalla with red potatoes & fresh green beans, it was delicious!! and I can assure You, I am done eating for the night!!
 Terry was up & around a more little more than he should, did a walk, that would have been shorter if it were my first walk!!!
 Last night I didn't sleep as well as I though I would, It was those dang traitors, my dogs, the minute Terry got in bed they followed, looking at me each time, as I said said traitor, and they could care less
 How do they do it, my heart was broken!!! BUT, when it came to cleaning up the accidents, guess which did that???? I am sure I don't have to tell you!!
 For the most party we have a a very relaxed, low key, kind of day, getting ready for our day to start Whoop-whoop- JEOPADRY, thats when it all begins!!And sadly, I am the ones who days begins as a loser!!!!  All in good fun, people, all in good fun!!
 Hopefully, we have a new start coming in our way, and building some new family time For When the kids get out of school, because you know how jealous these dogs can be!!
 Thank you for all your friendship, prayers & good thoughts, & please keeping them coming!!!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY 2011

 As I sit here and type it is 40 minutes from mothers day, I would like to wish all my friends & family a wonderful mothers day.
 Me, well, I am just so thankful this mothers day, for what is, and not what it could have been.
 Last night I hardly got any sleep, and today it was the phone ringing non stop, my dear friend, Dan Lane, came & took Cody for the day, which I really needed, between not sleeping & my nerves I felt like I had been hit with a matt truck.
 The day started out good, my baby girl, had her very first job interview, and nailed the job, she starts Thursday, I am so excited for her. She will be working in Culvers, my son told me it's big in Chicago, its a custard place?? I have never been and a custard place, is not a place I want to spend a lot of time at, hahaha
 Terry has had the same cardiologist since 1997 when he had his first triple by pass, he is my kind of doctor, he is from back east, & tells it like it is, he called me this after noon, and said one of the by passed arteries had ruptured, and, Thankfully we got him to the  hospital when we did or he could have had a massive coronary in his sleep, but, he NEEDS to take better care of himself, he gave up drinking for a year and has traded it in for snacks & fried foods, I personally don't eat fried foods & snacks, because I am diabetic, so guess who is going on the diabetic diet? Luckily for me, he doesn't read my blog!!
 I have been dealing with a lot of garbage lately, family drama to be exact, and quite frankly going through this puts things in perspective, when you almost loose one of the most important people in your life, everything else is relative. As far as I am concerned I am not wasting anymore energy on things that I can not change. I am going to focus, on the good in my life, times might be tough, really tough with no medical insurance and lack of funds, but we have so much, we both have dealt with life threatening injuries this month, if thats not a wake up call, I don't know what is.
 So, it's time to focus on my hubby, Cody, Jenn Daniel & Jessica, and everything else will fall into place.
 I must say I expected to be asleep long before now, but, I have really felt awful today, with good reason, but, I am also listening to my body & going to take it easy with my kids tomorrow.
 Terry's philosophy is why sit in a hard chair in a loud crowded room, with few TV shows, while you can be at home relaxing with the kids, so I am going to take him up on that, because I don't want to end up back in the hospital, and for a while there today, I really thought I was. 
 Today is the first day since being on the new headache meds, that I have had a continuous pounding migraine, so hopefully, this too shall pass.
 Last night I decided to sleep on the couch along with my 6 dogs, they were all cuddled up with me, and they are waiting now, looking at me with their big beautiful eyes, if you could read them, they'd say mommy, come to bed!! Here I come Puppies!!!

The Love Of My Life, May the Beat go on!!!

 Well, I never thought I would be here blogging yet again, at 11pm. 
 As you all know Terry and I have been married 17 years, we have had our ups & downs, he has had cancer, a heart attack & triple by pass in 1997, a mild stroke in 2004, a massive stroke 11/07, which caused him to be on permanent disability. Last year we separated due to his alcoholism, we reunited last Sept & renewed our vows on our 17th anniversary, and we have had a few bumps in the road, but, as late things have been great, he has been so supportive, my soul mate, my best friend, just the other day, my daughter Jennifer said, I think its cool how you & dad are best friends. That really touched our hearts, knowing the hell we have been through.
 Jennifer's 16th birthday April 29, Terry was sober 1 year, which makes it a VERY special day.
 Tonight, we had a normal Friday night at home, We love shows like Dateline, and then I go off to my life time movies when he falls asleep! Friday nights have a 2hr dateline, woo-hoo!!! As, I have mentioned I have been sleeping on the couch, it is more comfortable with all my ailments, so Terry was in the sofa bed, and me right next to him on the couch. I actually started to dose, which is VERY unusual for me, and Terry gets up sweating, the a/c is on 72 and he said call 911, in all my years he has NEVER asked me to call them, I rounded up 6 dogs, & threw them in Jenn's room because she is at a friends, and then I am trying to keep Cody settled, for those who know Cody know that is near impossible.
 The paramedics seemed real concerned, his b/p was dangerously low,his EKG was bad, and he said he would need a more extensive one, and the few other tests they could run, all came up that something is wrong! They gave him IV's & oxygen, and asked the old pain scale question, he said his pain was 7, out of 10.
 So, it's been an hour now, and I am a basket case waiting to hear something, I have been cleaning my butt off, my wood floors, have been mopped, swept, and I have dusted, windexed, cleaned the bathroom,& kitchen, I need to tackle the laundry, but that can wait.
 Now remember I don't have a car, terribly helpless feeling, God forbid they "need" tonight, Julie will take me to the hospital & take Cody, if not I am going to keep this as "normal" as possible for Cody or this can be an even worse nightmare.
 So, tomorrow !@ 10 Dan & Dina will take me to the hospital and take Cody for the day. Jenn's birthday party was cancelled, I guess that is just not meant to be!! Right now all she & the rest of the family want is her daddy back safe & sound.
 I have so much garbage running through my head right now, and verbalizing them, might make them real so I will pass on that. I honestly don't know how his body can handle anymore, and I pray it can because I see a by pass on the horizon, and I can't imagine my life w/o him.
 If anything I am learning tonight is don't take people for granted, and don't focus more time on things than people, and don't focus on those who are not contributing good things to your life, that are like a cancer, cut the cancerous people out of your life, before they consume you!
 Terry, you are the one and only love of my life, I know we have both done some really stupid things, but we always manage to reconcile, and neither of us has ever cheated, thats a line that we agreed we would NEVER cross, and we didn't
 And to end this blog, I speak with a deep rooted anger, NONE of this would have happened IF we had medical insurance, Terry has been having heart issues for a few weeks, and since we have not been on disability 2 years we don't qualify for medicare, and we make too much for medicaid, whis is a joke, under $2000 a month with 2 children, I am a diabetic, had a stroke, have heart issues and these terrible daily migraines, Terry has all his meds, & Cody being autistic, has him on quite a few medications. Please Government or someone who can make a difference read my blog and use it for help, so this doesn't happen to someones father, husband, brother, grandfather etc. Their life matters just as much as the guy driving the beamer in Hollywood Hills!

SIR SAMELOT

  It was a normal Nov morning, chilly and we still owned the house, and I was getting the kids ready for school, the routine was to let Crissy out, we had just bought a 6 week puppy that was a Yorkshire Terrier, named Max, he was priceless, after the kids were gone, and the house was quiet I went to let Crissy in and realized I hadn't seen Max. The thoughts that were running through my head were too scary to even give a second thought, but, I knew it, I just knew I had to go out there and check the pool. 
 Sure enough, Cody has accidentally let Max out and he was floating face down in the pool. I knew he was dead and could not bring myself to get the dog out, it was terrible, I had to shut the blinds so I could not see the pool, I just cried & cried. I called Terry at work, he came home and got the dog out of the pool, and we gave him a proper burial, then Terry went back to work.
 The day was so depressing, I got back on line and found a Morkie, for $450, which was a Yorkie/maltese, I went to get him, he was the last puppy left in the litter, all black, and you could tell this dog had HIS own way of doing things.
 The very next day I get a phone call from Terry's boss, Dennis the lawyer who owned the firm, to let me know Terry had a stroke & it was bad. I called Julie, and off we went to the hospital, one that seemed like we were there more than home , to this day just passing that hospital nauseates both of us.
 Terry was on life support, they  told me the odds were not good, and he may have severe brain damage, he was in terrible shape, Julie & I went into ICU and I could hardly compose myself, I have never seen anyone like that, hooked up to so many things.
 Back at home was a lonely Sir Samelot, so when ever I was home, I carried him around on my shoulder, he loved to go for car rides, and I swear he knew everything you said.
 Weeks went on, feeding tubes were put in, test after test was done, which each required me going doing there and giving my permission, finally, it seemed like their was a light at the end of the tunnel, he was doing so much better with his walking and therapies, but, was told, no more work, it had affected the part of his brain that retains information, and being a lawyer he would not be able to do that. OH MY Gosh, what do we do now??? Thats when we applied to social security.
 AFter 9 weeks Terry came home from the hospital & Sir Samelot {sammy } took to Terry he became his biggest buddy, I must admit, I felt a bit neglected, here I carried this little black son of a gun on my shoulder all day and he wants nothing to do with me??? 
 They became inseparable, so finally I just let Sammy go!
 Well, what goes around comes around, after having my stroke, Sammy wants me, he sleeps with me, I have been sleeping on the coach, since the stroke, because it is more comfortable than the pull out, so now Terry is sulking for his Sammy.
 Well the one, no one counted on is Sammy's son Treasure, he LOVES Sammy, and up until this week he wanted nothing to do with his puppies, now he & Treasure are together all the time, and treasure has Sammy's personality, is is so enjoyable to watch them, both,
 What I find amazing is a dog really does know someone sick & in need, because these dogs gravitate towards us if we have some medical issues. 
 They also become part of your family, I could NOT imagine my life w/o any of them, they each have their unique personality.
 BUT, they have started a new habit, that I do not enjoy, about midnight they get a second wind and you have all but me asleep, and 6 dogs are running, barking chewing, pooping, peeing, last night I am mopping the floor from 1-3am, swiffer or not, I was NOT in the mood!
 My routine is, come 10pm, I get on my couch and watch life time movies and unwind, and relish the peace & quiet until somewhere around 1-2am,
 SO puppies, Please let me have my time tonight, I have things to do tomorrow and need my down time!!

CHASING FLIES

 As most of you know we have accumulated 6 dogs, the first dog Crissy, was a rescue dog, we had no intentions of even getting a dog and me & the kids, who were real young then, 2004, went into Petsmart and saw the most adorable white furry dog dressed in a red Santa Suit, and NO she wasn't my God!! { refer back to last blog} we just fell in love with her, and she with us. 
 The people there said, they were surprised  they have had her a while because she is so shy and she usually doesn't bond with anyone. SO we knew then, we HAD to have her, it was Dec 5, 2004, she was 7 mos old, she was fixed, had her shots and everything came to $75, who could pass that deal up.
 We brought her home, and mind you, Terry had no clue we were getting a dog, hadn't even had a conversation, and in the door we walk in me, Cody, Jenn & Crissy, well he was NOT happy! 
 I knew this too shall pass because Crissy is so sweat & Lovable, that he wouldn't be able to help himself, and I was right.
 Night one, this dog was scared to death, I asked Terry is she could sleep in bed with us, he said, 1 night, and then she goes back on the floor, well 7 years later Crissy hasn't left the bed! We had to up grade to a King size bed, then when moving here and having to sleep on a queen size,AND have 6 dogs in our bed, it has gotten a bit crowded!
 Well, Crissy is very playful for a dog her age, and we have a sliding glass door in our living room, that flies hover about outside the door, well from the inside she tries and catches these flies, day in and day out, running in circles trying to catch flies, that she will never be able to catch. The good part for her is she has fun doing it and she is fun to watch, she is the sweetest, most gentle,loving dog, she wouldn't hurt a fly, LOL!!!
 Well, as I reflect on my life this past month, I have been chasing flies, ones that I am never going to catch, I too have a glass door between me & the flies I am trying to chase, the difference between me & Crissy is I get no enjoyment from this, I get hurt, frustrated, & depressed.
 Bottom line is, I am who I am, 
 The truth is, I have a wonderful, supportive husband, 3 children & a daughter in law who love me,a large group of real sincere friends, that most people would love to have,a nice apartment, I have a roof over my head,and all that other stuff doesn't matter,
 Sure it hurts like hell to have family members 'hate" me, because they can't understand me, but, I am done chasing flies, and I am going to focus on what I do have, and thats a lot!!!!

God comes in all things

  Unless something earth shattering happens with my ex husband I will no loner give him an ounce of "air time". 
  Yesterday I woke up to a very, angry, nasty email calling out just about everything in my life, including my faith, which is a VERY personal issue that he has no RIGHT going there.
 For starters he called me Bible bitching, Have no clue what that means & if anyone does could you please let me know, he also insisted that I was not right with God, but, he was, as far as I know we are not to judge who is right or wrong with God, that is his pleasure, and when the time is right, he will do his job, and I am quite sure he doesn't need my ex at his side for guidance,
 Then he told me when I was going to meet my maker, he would be dressed in red!! I so much wanted to respond, Oh lucky me, Santa will be at the pearly gates, handing out presents on my death!!!
 Then he went as far as trashing a Pastor who was our Pastor when we divorced, well the reason for that is that HE supported me, and Dan Mowbray DOES NO WRONG, so anyone who supported me, he is out to get, and he won't let it go, as I have said, we have been divorced 19 years, can you imagine this garbage going on this long???
 I have surrendered my 2 kids to the Lord, along with my grandchildren, that doesn't by any means,mean I don't love them, and gave up on them, if the ex wasn't threatening me, telling them lies, & them being VERY disrespectful to me, none of this would be happening.I can't battle him and constantly defend myself from the lies he tells them, and I WILL not tolerate the horrible disrespectful words that come out of their mouths. Just the other day, Dan M told Cody, my handicap son, your mom is evil & she disrespects all of her kids, even you, Cody is a mama's boy and came home in tears. For the record I love Megan & Scott with all my heart & would & always will, but, I must step back because he ordered them out of my life, & you ask, what 25 & 27 yr old listens to their dad like that? The answer is, you would have to really have to know my ex to understand., I will always love my grandchildren, but, in reality, I never had them, and that rips my heart out.
 My priority is my 2 kids still living at home, my husband & my son Daniel & his GF Jessica. Saturday we are finally having Jennifer's 16th birthday party with all friends, and my oldest son & GF Jessica, and  Daniel is Dan M first born, but they haven't spoken in over 10 years, because he saw his number!
 Unless it's major, I do not want to discuss Dan M anymore, it upsets my stomach, and has me tense, so Goodbye, and I will be hoping for those presents in heaven, because I KNOW who my God is and who I will come face to face with, and he won't be wearing red!!!

Let the Pink hair Roll, Baby.....

 This morning Terry went to walmart and I fell asleep on the couch with the puppies, around 9am, in comes Dan & Terry, so up it was.
 Julie picked me up at 10:20 and we went to Mimi's cafe, lately all I can seem to keep down is smoothies, and they are nutritious so it seems like a good fit, and I am losing weight.
 When ever we go out we call it a "theme" day, for example if we were going to yard sales it would seem like ever yard sale HAD a vacuum, and we call it vacuum day, today was crazy hair day, we saw the strangest hair styles ever, even one women had pink hair, here in AZ we have a state fair commercial where the lady starts eating her hair, because it's cotton candy, well we found her this morning!!
 We were both pretty down in the dumps, but since I can't figure out how to block people from my blogs, the style of my blog is going to change, possibly, this may be my last, because it's hard when you can't completely SAY how you are FEELING, kind of defeats the whole purpose of blogging.
 It seem they want to take everything from me, that they can.
 Honestly, I am feeling pretty defeated and knowing that my blogs are being read, printed and will be used at a convenient time, takes the freedom away, Its sad, because regardless if you enjoy it or not, I enjoy writing and there is very few things I enjoy these days, I find it very therapeutic, but again, they must steal my thunder. I am not sure what I am going to do about the blogging, but, I have 1 more to blog, one with humor and away from my "drama" 
 I thank those who sincerely read my blogs, with the best intentions, who reached out a hand when I so needed one, I felt your hand, your hugs., your love, I appreciated your support, advice & sharing similar situations in your life, as mine, I can't tell you how often you brought me back from a bad place. I am hoping I can find a way to continue to blog with freedom,
 I think I have figured out the problem, my family does not understand my emotional make up and theirs is so different from mine, they they expect, almost order me to feel their way and when I don't I get yelled at & condemned, I wrote in a previous blog that I have visions of when Terry passes away I will be alone, with my dogs, because my kids won't care to help me, except Daniel my oldest & Jennifer my youngest, and I received an email, blasting me about how they didn't know Terry was dying, and it was very condescending, so basically, what I am saying is EVERYTHING is taken wrong, and adds to another nail in my cross. I can't live under that kind of microscope. They don't understand, they make me sound mean & Uncaring, and I am the opposite, my friends can tell you otherwise, people who have been my friends for over 30 years.
 Today, Terry & I had a very good 4 way call with our dear friends L&D and they gave me some very good advice, and my husband, also has been amazingly supportive, if I could only get a shot of good thoughts, and positive thinking every 4 hrs, instead of medication, I would be  a happy camper!
 Thank you all for suppoting me by reading my blog, I hope to work this out so I can continue it, feed back appreciated!!

A Normal day in the life of

 It was time to get back to a normal routine in The LaVoie household, so much has gone on since the "drama' that I decided to have a normal blog.
 The day was very normal when I received a phone call from Cody's school that he had just disrupted the class, OH MY CODY, when will it end? The teacher didn't have to tell me, I could just close my eyes & picture the entire thing and hear his mouth going,1 more school year, here & he graduates High School, BUT, unfortunately he will have the same teacher next year, and this years teacher has not been a good fit. He has to get up at 6 :15, which I don't blame him for struggling at that time, I am not a morning person, myself.
 The kids went off to school, and The UH went for his walk with Julie's dad, the one who just had his by pass surgery.
 Terry came home, and I am not kidding, I was crying hysterical over the nasty email I received from that physco ex husband, and then It hit me, NO MORE, he is not going to scare me anymore, I called my other friend Dan L, and said, lets go to walmart, I have 1 wall I need pics for. Dan L came over and Terry, Dan & I chatted a while, and off to wally world, and wouldn't you know, not 1 picture I liked, I am looking for Italian or French, countryside pictures, tomorrow Julie & I do lunch, so hopefully I will find one then, if not a good old hanging quilt to the rescue!!!
 It was a awful reminder that we were living our life in Phoenix, when the car temp read 97 degrees, and a big old 100 for tomorrow, which means, little make up, and hair goes up, we will see you hair in Nov, just in time to cut it!!!
 We came home, and both kids were out, so we all had a nice conversation, making plans for the weekend, Saturday is Jenn's 16th birthday, and Sunday is Mothers day, yes, it will be hard, but, I will try and get through it!!! I have 3 kids that love me & a daughter in law, & a husband who has been absolutely wonderful to me, trying to get me through this living hell.
 Well, we have a joke our days starts @4:30, thats when we hear the music for jeopardy, and there it was jeopardy time!!! I don't know why I try, Terry almost always beats me!!! But, I try, since the stroke, my brain is toast!!!
 After jeopardy, is the news, and todays big story is killer bees stung a man over 1000 x's I am curious what part of town, Phoenix is a big city, so hopefully its no where near here, I HATE BEES!!!!
 Haven't spoke about the wood floors much because of the "drama" but, I actually love them, they are so much easier than carpet with all these dogs, they look wood, they are faux, but, you would never know.
 Terry wasn't hungry, I had sonic, & the kids are eating at their friends, Terry just left for an AA meeting, so I am just going to kick back, call my friend Carmen, who is in the hospital in Georgia, and then hope I can find some good lifetime movies, my all time favorites!