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Monday, March 21, 2011

A stroke, really???

 Well, here I sit in my recliner, on March 21, a bit under 6 mos than I am turning 50.
 Yesterday was some day, it was not at all what I thought a stroke would be, but, how many of us really think about what it would be like? I tried like crazy to email people all day long, and it looked as though I was writing in Russian, when I tell you I was persistant, I did not stop until 2 am, it was the most frustrating experience, In my head I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but, it would not come out in words, it was awful!!
 I was confused, clutsy, dropping things, & tripping, those things I have been doing for the better part of a week now.
 Tuesday, I went & got an injection in both sides of my head due to my headache, and Fri, I ended up in the ER getting a shot, again, on both sides.
 I have been so tired, sleeping until noon, and napping during the day,no energy to get anything done. Been working on a quilt for a gift and I am dragging my butt on it, I promise it is coming!!!
 I am still having speech issues, I have been asked if I have been drinking, when everyone who knows me knows I don't drink, and I am just not right, so please forgive this blog, it is not up to par.
 Next wed I go for an ultra sound on my corroted artery, if needed, will get a stent, then I go for an MRI on my brain to see if there is damage or a tumor, and then an MRI on my neck to see if there is damage, causing my occipital neuralgia headaches.
 I came home to 6 loving dogs that were so happy to see me, made me feel loved & special!
 I do want to say this is a NEW blog, it is NOT candy coated or politically correct, in this blog you will hear it like it is, there is no dh in this blog, it is a UH, for unbelievable husband, because you don't know what they will do next. SOme of you are lucky & do know what they will do next and it will be all good!....My UH is bi polar, and he has been anything but, kind, loving & supportive to me, when I need it the most, between him and other family members, they think I am on drugs, drinking, just tired of hearing me complain, oh well, I am sorry, I am scared, for once, can someone show me some love, God knows I gave enough to go around.
 My kids have been very supportive, Cody can't know, because he can't handle it, he is a momma's boy, and this would put him over the edge.
 I am sorry if I am negative, I really wish my UH and other family members could act as kind & loving as my FB family does, A hug, a nice word, you are going to be ok, or ARE you ok? any of that would do nicely, but, it's not going to happen, I should know by now. IF I had MONEY, my life would be different, I would be with someone who treated me like I deserve. Ok, enough of the ranting!
 Today is the first day post stroke, lets hope things get better!!! I have faith in God & know he has a plan, and this is all part of it, but, one thing I do know is I just need to be held, to be told I am loved & be told everything in going to be ok, is that too much to ask for? Gos Bless & good night!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Kimmy,
    so sorry you having problems, hopefully all will get better soon. I know what you mean about the kindness of strangers, family can be so hurtful and mean sometimes. Take care and lots of prayers coming your way.

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