It was time to get back to a normal routine in The LaVoie household, so much has gone on since the "drama' that I decided to have a normal blog.
The day was very normal when I received a phone call from Cody's school that he had just disrupted the class, OH MY CODY, when will it end? The teacher didn't have to tell me, I could just close my eyes & picture the entire thing and hear his mouth going,1 more school year, here & he graduates High School, BUT, unfortunately he will have the same teacher next year, and this years teacher has not been a good fit. He has to get up at 6 :15, which I don't blame him for struggling at that time, I am not a morning person, myself.
The kids went off to school, and The UH went for his walk with Julie's dad, the one who just had his by pass surgery.
Terry came home, and I am not kidding, I was crying hysterical over the nasty email I received from that physco ex husband, and then It hit me, NO MORE, he is not going to scare me anymore, I called my other friend Dan L, and said, lets go to walmart, I have 1 wall I need pics for. Dan L came over and Terry, Dan & I chatted a while, and off to wally world, and wouldn't you know, not 1 picture I liked, I am looking for Italian or French, countryside pictures, tomorrow Julie & I do lunch, so hopefully I will find one then, if not a good old hanging quilt to the rescue!!!
It was a awful reminder that we were living our life in Phoenix, when the car temp read 97 degrees, and a big old 100 for tomorrow, which means, little make up, and hair goes up, we will see you hair in Nov, just in time to cut it!!!
We came home, and both kids were out, so we all had a nice conversation, making plans for the weekend, Saturday is Jenn's 16th birthday, and Sunday is Mothers day, yes, it will be hard, but, I will try and get through it!!! I have 3 kids that love me & a daughter in law, & a husband who has been absolutely wonderful to me, trying to get me through this living hell.
Well, we have a joke our days starts @4:30, thats when we hear the music for jeopardy, and there it was jeopardy time!!! I don't know why I try, Terry almost always beats me!!! But, I try, since the stroke, my brain is toast!!!
After jeopardy, is the news, and todays big story is killer bees stung a man over 1000 x's I am curious what part of town, Phoenix is a big city, so hopefully its no where near here, I HATE BEES!!!!
Haven't spoke about the wood floors much because of the "drama" but, I actually love them, they are so much easier than carpet with all these dogs, they look wood, they are faux, but, you would never know.
Terry wasn't hungry, I had sonic, & the kids are eating at their friends, Terry just left for an AA meeting, so I am just going to kick back, call my friend Carmen, who is in the hospital in Georgia, and then hope I can find some good lifetime movies, my all time favorites!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
FAMILY FEUD
- Wow I'm so done with you acting like this. I haven't done anything to you and you are running your mouth with lies about me once again. You really need to grow up and stop acting like the world revolves around you. do you ever think maybe there is a reason why your family wants nothing to do with you ? Sit there and continue to tell lies about me. I really don't care anymore. You obviously have nothing better to do with your sad little life. You have no grandchildren so keep my kids names out of your mouth.
- Oh one more thing. I have reports of abuse in your home that by law I have to report to my company. So have fun with that and leave my family alone for good
YesterdayDan Mowbray- OK, What the Hell are you doing with our Children. I come over and meet with you and Terry, Scott comes along and spent the time talking to me. Cody is coming over here telling us he is getting punched in the back by Terry. And then because know one in the family wants to get together for Jenifer's 16th. Birthday, you start blogging, you don't have a Son & Daughter, or grandchildren, and praising some of the kids and trashing the others. No excuse, Medically or Mentally justifies railing Our Children like this again & again. You Damn well know the History of Birthdays And Holiday for us with Our Children were some of the Shit Nightmares are made of. And Jennifer, this week is the chosen one, and next week she be in trouble fighting in school and she'll get the shit. If you ever want to bring family together and see your Grandchildren, this will never help. Cut out the Shit on the Blogs and slamming your Children. Both Scott & Megan were so sick last week, I was the only one well enough to keep things going, and your slamming them.
Scott is very busy looking for work, and Megan is always busy with her Children and watching only children. (One who is yours). Straighten this out with your adult Children, and stop repeating the bad habits you had with your mom & dad
Here are copies of all the hurtful emails I have been recieving, daily, and I have not responded to to any of them. As you can see I am being TOLD I don't have grandchildren,and keep their names out of my mouth I was TOLD we{me & Scott} were at the end of the road, and he NEVER wanted to hear from me again, and the ex has ordered me knock off the blog shit, wee I have been blogging almost a year, I Love to write! And understand in this situation my counselor told me to blog or journel, I like blogging I like the feedback/The "lie's Megan is talking about is, I found out she was reading Jessica's FB and I told her that it was probably her dad who was actually reading it, and it were up to her what she wanted to do,but, I knew they had gotten in mine by a comment that was made on the phone, so Jess decided to delete her, as did I, and that was thatMy husband is NOT a child abuser, and that falsehood, is coming from Dan, well thats not something to threaten, and I am very angry and that had never been spoken, since the last time Dan was here in Phoenix. So, as you see I have it from every angle, just because I wanted to give Jenn a sweet 16, well shame on them, because we ARE having one, one way or another.
.You have crossed a line that you cannot come back from. To disown me publicly without just cause or provocation is an act that I cannot forgive, forget or get past. Let me make this clear: At no point now, or in the future do I wish to reconcile, I made it clear the last time we had a falling out that I would not tolerate any more mind games or personal attacks. We have reached the end of the road, I have only one thing left to say: I NEVER want to hear from you again.this ia from Scott 27
SO, what I have gotten from a lo of this is STAY away from your grandchildren, Megan & Scott are done with me, when I age I will have no one, I am not of the Lord, but Satan, & remind you I haven't engaged into a conversation with any of them, at any time.
And that Dan is here to stay to be for HIS family, because I am incapable, AND that my husband has beaten my child, well how come Megan didn't report it, she is his worker, why haven't me or the school noticed these injuries// What a Cruel, cruel way to live your life.
After being divorced 19 years!!!Who carries a grudge that long? and for the record, I was an abused wife, mentally & physically, AND he was cheating on my with his brothers wife!!! SO, he is no saint! I have spent the past 19 years since we divorced, building a business, married Terry had 2 more kids, 1 of which is hanicapped, and very high maintenance, & raising Dan's kids until they were 18, please forgive me for I am not perfect, however I have morals, and try to do the right things in a situation, I don't live for revenge, I would just like life is ease up and let me heal from losing for my family!
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53 minutes agoDan Mowbray- So, lets see, you are "right with God", and God is alright with you turning on your Children, not to biblical Bitch!!!!!. I'm so glad God approves of the way you turn on the ones you Love. I'm back in the Valley to stay, if that troubles you I'm glad. I am here for my Children & Grandchildren and to enjoy all the blessing that come with being with them. I Love them all and that will never change. As far as you, keep living in your sick world, and I will stay in mine. This will be the best for both of us. But remember this, keep hurting our children, and you will one day, be all alone. Your Parents, your Children, and me will be better without you fucking things up. My Life is a better place and has been without you. But you may want to check out your God, her may be wearing Red. "Remember Bob Lehman" No more contact from the Evil one. And keep believing how bad a man I am, and I will see you in your nightmares.
while I was writing the last blog, moments ago, the ex sent me his nasty email for the day, it is actually nice compared to the rest, so thought I would post it. I am hurting, and he is living to continue to hurt me. The Bob Lehman he is referring to is a Pastor, who lead me through my divorce with him, so Bob has become demonic or something in his book, believe me I know this man and he is getting sick pleasure out of this, he keeps reffering to me choosing to not to see the kids or grandkids, it is making me feel as though my brain is going to break in 2, I was told NO GRANDCHILDREN 2 years ago, because my daughters husband wouldn't let me see them because of Terry's drinking, which I offered to go there or parks etc. and it always was NO!!! As far AGAIN, the 2 olders sent an email saying they were done with me, and due to my health, sanity & family, I have chosen to oblique that, not w/o pain...What I don't understand is how they know I just stroked 1 mos ago and they can do this to me, the stress is like elephants sitting on my chest
I am sincerely a wreck right now, everytime, I feel a tiny amount of peace it is snatched from me I don't do well with confutation's, & when its your very own kids doing this, the pain is unbearable. I now suppose he is God now & is predicting where I am going? 19 years divorced, and he still won't leave me alone, WHY?
Terry abd I & the 2 kids have been doing so good, why muct he have to be here<
The Chosen Ones
You know how they say God doesn't give you more than you can handle? Well, can you please tell God I think I have reached my limit!!!!
Yesterday I received an very, nasty email from my 27 yr old son Scott, saying we have reached the end of the road, and how awful of a mother I was and so on. I am not w/o fault, never claimed to be, but, this entire mess is all because I wanted the family at Jennifer's sweet 16 party, Megan & Scott have ALWAYS been jealous of Jennifer & Daniel, because they have chosen different paths for their lives, they have focused on moving on from what ever situation life has dealt them.
Last year Terry and I were separated, he is an alcoholic, well we reconciled 6 mos later and he became sober on Jenn's birthday & just celebrated his 1 year on April 29, when we were separated, it was hard on Jenn, and she made some mistakes, she owned up to them, but, her sister has not let her forget them, which of us as teenagers haven't made some wrong choices? I am the first one to raise my hand! And Megan has made some of the WORST choices.
I am proud of Jennifer, she is in a scholarship program, where is she completes her HS years in honor roll she will get a state school scholarship, and she wants to go to Northern AZ University, and we just found out starting this coming school year, her JR & SR year she will go to HS in the morning & Community College in the afternoon, so when she graduates HS, she will also graduate as a sophomore in COllege, and for some reason Megan & Scott can't handle that and instead of being supportive they trashed her from here to SUnday, and days later Megan decided to go back to school in the fall, well I was thrilled for her, not angry??? I don't understand the logic!
Daniel, who is 29, is completely out of the fold he is a grown man, with his own life, as it should be, he chose a long time ago not to deal with his dad, Scott & Megan because of this very reason.
Daniel & Jennifer, are labeled the chosen ones, but, the ex & 2 other kids, no, they just handle things differently, Daniel was car jacked at gun point, and had to jump out of a moving car on a free way to escape, the police said had he not done that, he probably would have lost his life, it was a terrible experience he went through, but, he dealt with it, went & back to work, he never ONCE heard from his father or siblings, and it was on the news, and I made sure they knew about it.I was so proud of him then, and the thought of losing him had me totally shook up.When Daniel was little, he & I were very close, we did so much together, he was the first, and I know that is typical, but, he has a similar personality as I do, so that crossed him off his dad's list right there.I am proud of Daniel & Jessica, they have both had to over come some difficult things in their lives, and they have prevailed!
Shortly after the car jacking, his girl friend of 3 years broke up with him, that was hard on top of that, little did we know that would be a blessing, because he never would have met Jessica, she is great for him, they compliment each other well, and she knows exactly what she is getting into.
Daniel has alway enjoyed sports, & grew up to be a sports writer, and we are very proud of him, Daniel & Jennifer choose to move forward and not wallow in their crap.
I have woken up to a mean email everyday this week, and I assure you I haven't responded to one, I was told to dis own the grand kids, by Megan, and she disowned me, well as heart breaking as it is, I haven't seen these babies in 2 years, so what I w as asking to do, was no different than the way things already are. Then on 3 occasions I was ordered to stop blogging, I have been blogging since early fall so, I have no intentions on stopping unless, those of you who are reading them tell me to stop.
And then I was ordered by the ex to keep Megan & Scottie out of my life, Scott has been back 5 weeks, & I have seen him 20 min, one of those times, I invited him for Easter & he yelled at me, saying "the Family" is doing something, I have repeatedly asked him to get together, he speaks to me very disrespectfully, he has been living with his dad 9 years, and those of you that know them both, will see he treats me just as his dad did/....After talking with my hubby, we decided our family is thriving right now, and as hard as it will be, we should probably comply to their request, because the daily nasty emails, and the talking disrespectfully & more, is not good for our nuclear family right now. It is hurtful, & Killing me..........., what they don't realize is I do have a heart, I am a woman who gave birth to 5 children, and love each one equally, they are just different people, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, they are my heart, and when they are not part of my life, it is like a part of my heart is not working. I did not raise them like this, & I do hate to keep going back to the ex, but, this behavior is all coming from his parenting. What kind of man or adult children, pick on a women and try & push her to her limit when she just had a stroke, & because of my diabetes, I am susceptible to having another stroke.
I will tell you what kind of person, a man who battered his wife, that would be me for 11 years. I finally said it, never thought I would, especially on FB, but, if he can still be verbally & mentally abusing me 19 years AFTER our divorce, God knows what a man like this can do, so PLEASE if you are being battered in any way, contact me, & get help, it doesn't go away!!!
Yesterday I received an very, nasty email from my 27 yr old son Scott, saying we have reached the end of the road, and how awful of a mother I was and so on. I am not w/o fault, never claimed to be, but, this entire mess is all because I wanted the family at Jennifer's sweet 16 party, Megan & Scott have ALWAYS been jealous of Jennifer & Daniel, because they have chosen different paths for their lives, they have focused on moving on from what ever situation life has dealt them.
Last year Terry and I were separated, he is an alcoholic, well we reconciled 6 mos later and he became sober on Jenn's birthday & just celebrated his 1 year on April 29, when we were separated, it was hard on Jenn, and she made some mistakes, she owned up to them, but, her sister has not let her forget them, which of us as teenagers haven't made some wrong choices? I am the first one to raise my hand! And Megan has made some of the WORST choices.
I am proud of Jennifer, she is in a scholarship program, where is she completes her HS years in honor roll she will get a state school scholarship, and she wants to go to Northern AZ University, and we just found out starting this coming school year, her JR & SR year she will go to HS in the morning & Community College in the afternoon, so when she graduates HS, she will also graduate as a sophomore in COllege, and for some reason Megan & Scott can't handle that and instead of being supportive they trashed her from here to SUnday, and days later Megan decided to go back to school in the fall, well I was thrilled for her, not angry??? I don't understand the logic!
Daniel, who is 29, is completely out of the fold he is a grown man, with his own life, as it should be, he chose a long time ago not to deal with his dad, Scott & Megan because of this very reason.
Daniel & Jennifer, are labeled the chosen ones, but, the ex & 2 other kids, no, they just handle things differently, Daniel was car jacked at gun point, and had to jump out of a moving car on a free way to escape, the police said had he not done that, he probably would have lost his life, it was a terrible experience he went through, but, he dealt with it, went & back to work, he never ONCE heard from his father or siblings, and it was on the news, and I made sure they knew about it.I was so proud of him then, and the thought of losing him had me totally shook up.When Daniel was little, he & I were very close, we did so much together, he was the first, and I know that is typical, but, he has a similar personality as I do, so that crossed him off his dad's list right there.I am proud of Daniel & Jessica, they have both had to over come some difficult things in their lives, and they have prevailed!
Shortly after the car jacking, his girl friend of 3 years broke up with him, that was hard on top of that, little did we know that would be a blessing, because he never would have met Jessica, she is great for him, they compliment each other well, and she knows exactly what she is getting into.
Daniel has alway enjoyed sports, & grew up to be a sports writer, and we are very proud of him, Daniel & Jennifer choose to move forward and not wallow in their crap.
I have woken up to a mean email everyday this week, and I assure you I haven't responded to one, I was told to dis own the grand kids, by Megan, and she disowned me, well as heart breaking as it is, I haven't seen these babies in 2 years, so what I w as asking to do, was no different than the way things already are. Then on 3 occasions I was ordered to stop blogging, I have been blogging since early fall so, I have no intentions on stopping unless, those of you who are reading them tell me to stop.
And then I was ordered by the ex to keep Megan & Scottie out of my life, Scott has been back 5 weeks, & I have seen him 20 min, one of those times, I invited him for Easter & he yelled at me, saying "the Family" is doing something, I have repeatedly asked him to get together, he speaks to me very disrespectfully, he has been living with his dad 9 years, and those of you that know them both, will see he treats me just as his dad did/....After talking with my hubby, we decided our family is thriving right now, and as hard as it will be, we should probably comply to their request, because the daily nasty emails, and the talking disrespectfully & more, is not good for our nuclear family right now. It is hurtful, & Killing me..........., what they don't realize is I do have a heart, I am a woman who gave birth to 5 children, and love each one equally, they are just different people, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, they are my heart, and when they are not part of my life, it is like a part of my heart is not working. I did not raise them like this, & I do hate to keep going back to the ex, but, this behavior is all coming from his parenting. What kind of man or adult children, pick on a women and try & push her to her limit when she just had a stroke, & because of my diabetes, I am susceptible to having another stroke.
I will tell you what kind of person, a man who battered his wife, that would be me for 11 years. I finally said it, never thought I would, especially on FB, but, if he can still be verbally & mentally abusing me 19 years AFTER our divorce, God knows what a man like this can do, so PLEASE if you are being battered in any way, contact me, & get help, it doesn't go away!!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
God & God Alone
As I sit here to the background music of 3 puppies playing, at first it was funny, now, its getting annoying, the younger ones have a high pitched sounds, and the older one sounds like a lion, the only smart one is Sammy, the Furball Yorkie, he is sitting on his thrown, the top of the couch, chewing away on his bone. He knows when to pick his battles, and he knows to stay away from situations that upset him, so today, I am taking a page from Sir Samelots book. Most dogs are very intelligent, they just don't just get the credit.
when I honestly think about it, if we lived with the same philosophy as a dog does, we wouldn't be half stressed!
Yesterday was a bad day, today, even worse, I will right now focus on the good, I got a lot of feedback from so many of you, and I appreciated it very much, and it validated what I felt, so thank you!!!
Yesterdays vicious email from my daughter called for me to never utter her childrens names again, because I would NEVER have those grandchildren. And by your advice, there was something about saying it out loud on the blog, that helped me to let go and today, I felt peace about moving on,
Todays vicious email came from the ex husband, , and it was so hurtful & verbally abusive, ruined hours of my day, this is definitely something I need to work on, letting him have that kind of control over me.
The bottom line, is we don't get to chose our family, we do chose our friends, and those people love you unconditional, and most family members do love you unconditionally too, and that would be a wonderful feeling, unfortunately, when I decided to divorce Mowbray, he decided he was going to devide the family and he did just that, in todays email, he referred to Jenn & Daniel as the chosen ones!! Mind you, I DO NOT respond to any of these emails, nor do I intend to, and I will NOT stop blogging on his orders, either!
I am not sure where this journey of this blended family is going to take us, and I feel like I have come so far this past year, and I would hate to see Mowbray ruin it, but, after all how naive could I be? Here I thought when we all got together it was an act of God, well guess what it was God's enemy that was in control, not God.I guess I forgot how brutal someone can be, how they can tare you up with their tongue in 5 minutes, and bring you right back to the place where you used to live, as a battered woman
I so wish he never moved back to Phoenix!
And as MUCH, and Oh GOD, it hurts more than I can put into words, it is time to step back & out of Megan & Scottie's life, for the sake of my 2 children that I am still raising, and for the sake of my family, that have been thriving well.
The sky is blue, nice wind blowing, and comfortable temperatures, I have wasted almost all of this gorgeous day on a man I call MY EX husband of 19 years, and the hard part 2 grandchildren & 2 children, now that is a hard pill to swallow, but, it is one I need to swallow, because I must to survive, Please pray for strength for me to do this, and for my ex to stop harassing me!
when I honestly think about it, if we lived with the same philosophy as a dog does, we wouldn't be half stressed!
Yesterday was a bad day, today, even worse, I will right now focus on the good, I got a lot of feedback from so many of you, and I appreciated it very much, and it validated what I felt, so thank you!!!
Yesterdays vicious email from my daughter called for me to never utter her childrens names again, because I would NEVER have those grandchildren. And by your advice, there was something about saying it out loud on the blog, that helped me to let go and today, I felt peace about moving on,
Todays vicious email came from the ex husband, , and it was so hurtful & verbally abusive, ruined hours of my day, this is definitely something I need to work on, letting him have that kind of control over me.
The bottom line, is we don't get to chose our family, we do chose our friends, and those people love you unconditional, and most family members do love you unconditionally too, and that would be a wonderful feeling, unfortunately, when I decided to divorce Mowbray, he decided he was going to devide the family and he did just that, in todays email, he referred to Jenn & Daniel as the chosen ones!! Mind you, I DO NOT respond to any of these emails, nor do I intend to, and I will NOT stop blogging on his orders, either!
I am not sure where this journey of this blended family is going to take us, and I feel like I have come so far this past year, and I would hate to see Mowbray ruin it, but, after all how naive could I be? Here I thought when we all got together it was an act of God, well guess what it was God's enemy that was in control, not God.I guess I forgot how brutal someone can be, how they can tare you up with their tongue in 5 minutes, and bring you right back to the place where you used to live, as a battered woman
I so wish he never moved back to Phoenix!
And as MUCH, and Oh GOD, it hurts more than I can put into words, it is time to step back & out of Megan & Scottie's life, for the sake of my 2 children that I am still raising, and for the sake of my family, that have been thriving well.
The sky is blue, nice wind blowing, and comfortable temperatures, I have wasted almost all of this gorgeous day on a man I call MY EX husband of 19 years, and the hard part 2 grandchildren & 2 children, now that is a hard pill to swallow, but, it is one I need to swallow, because I must to survive, Please pray for strength for me to do this, and for my ex to stop harassing me!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Loner, outcast, & non exsistance
1. a person who is rejected or excluded from a social group
2. a vagabond or wanderer
3. anything thrown out or rejected
adj
rejected, abandoned, or discarded; cast out
Last evening a dear friends & I were IM ing, and she had the best intentions, she has been following my blog, she was worried that I am beyond being a loner, more like an outcast and I couldn't agree with her more. She really thinks this is beyond my help & help of friends, that I need to be hospitalized. Unfortunately, I have no medical insurance, and refuse to stay in a state hospital, I am seeing a psychiatrist, and have just started ant depressants, and am on several stroke/headache related medications, I hope & pray the work, the headache meds were working like a charm until the stress level was through the rough, this weekend, The medication is heavy duty and makes me very tired.
I apologized, yet again to my mother and was told it wasn't good enough! The story of my life!!
Anyway, I see that a lot of you read my blog, but hardly leave comments, I really need comments to know where you stand, if you agree or degree means a lot, it gives me guidance, and other options & suggestions, if you think the blog is a waste of time, I need to know that, too!
I have put ALL of myself out there and not sure if I am just making a fool of myself!
The definition of outcast is up at the top of the blog, it is a horrible way to feel, and unfortunately it is how I feel, I feel unworthy, unlovable, and not good enough for anyone or anybody I feel rejected, and to feel rejected by your own parents & children, is like having a knife put through your back.There are different circumstances as to what is going on when them, but, non the less, I go to bed, empty & unworthy & wake up feeling exactly the same way, I don't know if the mental pain is worse than the physical, I do know I am in dyer straights, and that my family need to understand I have feelings, and I would lay down my life for them, how can they just brush me aside and not care how I am even recovering from my stroke!
ok, I see that so many of you read my blog, but, they go 99% of the time w/o comment! Part of blogging is so I can get some feedback, good, bad or indifferent, I really would love to hear what you have to say, or even if the blog is even worth writing anymore, Please let me know your opinion, thanks, because I truly am an unintended outcast, who is in tremendous medical & physical pain, who feels completely alone.
Don't get me wrong Terry has been wonderful through out all this, he has been so supportive & nurturing, and so has Cody & Jenn, and my circle of friends, and I thank you all for that!!!
ok, I see that so many of you read my blog, but, they go 99% of the time w/o comment! Part of blogging is so I can get some feedback, good, bad or indifferent, I really would love to hear what you have to say, or even if the blog is even worth writing anymore, Please let me know your opinion, thanks, because I truly am an unintended outcast, who is in tremendous medical & physical pain, who feels completely alone.
Don't get me wrong Terry has been wonderful through out all this, he has been so supportive & nurturing, and so has Cody & Jenn, and my circle of friends, and I thank you all for that!!!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Time to say Goodbye
I have written & re written, this blog over & over today, and have decided to just say that this is one of the most horrible days in my life.It of course involves the drama that has been going on, but seriously has me thinking of re locating out of state. I am not sure where, I haven't made it that far and I have to check into Jenn's scholarship programs, because I don't want to mess them up for her.
I have met, & reconnected with some really awesome people here on FB, and have appreciated all of your support, and especially since the stroke, I have needed a lot!!
My life has just took a terrible turn for the worse, and honestly, I am scared of the outcome, I do not know that I have the mental strength to get through it, the stroke has really taken a tole on me in that department, and I am hoping I have what it takes to get through this.
For today, functioning would be a great accomplishment, but, I am not sure I can do it!
As my daughter said, you have nothing better to do than FB in your pathetic little life.....Yep, my pathetic little life, when you do not own a car & have no money,your life becomes pathetic, wish I had more to contribute to life, more to offer, but, right now, taking care of myself has become a f/t job.
I apologize if my blogs offend anyone, they are just a lonely old ladies way of communicating with the world, a world which I wish I played more of a part in.
All, I really ever wanted in life was to be a mother, and I was a damn good one, regardless of anything else that is said, and I still am, my children are my life. But, for now, I will be focusing on Cody, Jenn, Daniel & Jess.
I was told I no longer have any grandchildren, well honestly, did I ever have them??? I haven't even so much as touched 9 mos old Maddox, and Jolie, haven't had contact in almost 2 years, that is the worst kind of mental torture imaginable, I can't tell you what it has done to me.
So, now I move on, w/o parents grandchildren, & 2 kids, you ask, is it you Kimmy, because they are all not speaking to you?? I have asked myself that 1 million times, and I certainly don't wear blinders where I am concerned, But, I haven't done ANYTHING to be kept from my grandchildren, I have allowed Megan & Scottie to use me as a door mat, and always afraid to say no to them so they "like" me, and my parents, well, how many times does it take to ask to be forgiven???
I have met, & reconnected with some really awesome people here on FB, and have appreciated all of your support, and especially since the stroke, I have needed a lot!!
My life has just took a terrible turn for the worse, and honestly, I am scared of the outcome, I do not know that I have the mental strength to get through it, the stroke has really taken a tole on me in that department, and I am hoping I have what it takes to get through this.
For today, functioning would be a great accomplishment, but, I am not sure I can do it!
As my daughter said, you have nothing better to do than FB in your pathetic little life.....Yep, my pathetic little life, when you do not own a car & have no money,your life becomes pathetic, wish I had more to contribute to life, more to offer, but, right now, taking care of myself has become a f/t job.
I apologize if my blogs offend anyone, they are just a lonely old ladies way of communicating with the world, a world which I wish I played more of a part in.
All, I really ever wanted in life was to be a mother, and I was a damn good one, regardless of anything else that is said, and I still am, my children are my life. But, for now, I will be focusing on Cody, Jenn, Daniel & Jess.
I was told I no longer have any grandchildren, well honestly, did I ever have them??? I haven't even so much as touched 9 mos old Maddox, and Jolie, haven't had contact in almost 2 years, that is the worst kind of mental torture imaginable, I can't tell you what it has done to me.
So, now I move on, w/o parents grandchildren, & 2 kids, you ask, is it you Kimmy, because they are all not speaking to you?? I have asked myself that 1 million times, and I certainly don't wear blinders where I am concerned, But, I haven't done ANYTHING to be kept from my grandchildren, I have allowed Megan & Scottie to use me as a door mat, and always afraid to say no to them so they "like" me, and my parents, well, how many times does it take to ask to be forgiven???
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