Today was day one of my new medication, I am placing so much importance on it, because, basically the doctor said, we have tried everything else, so if this doesn't work, sadly, my life will be living with a daily headache.
Terry and I both over slept, which is common for me, but, not him. I still had plenty of time to get ready. I was taking Julie out to lunch for her birthday. We both have been on diets and we were treating ourselves to sonic for desert. I had an orange cream slush which I thoroughly enjoyed.
When I woke up I had the usual headache, and had my first dosage of medication, it lessened the headache to where it was just dull.
After being out with Julie for over 2 hrs, I came home, and had something I haven't had in ages, ENERGY!!! SO, I opened all the windows, it was beautiful out 80, and breezy, and gave the apartment a real good cleaning, with the help of the puppies, who just loved being out on the patio where they can run around. We live in an apartment, with a very large patio, that has a 4ft wall all around it, so that's the closest thing to a back yard they have, and we also have a doggy park here, so that's a real treat for them.
I can honestly say I had a few hours today without a headache at all, which felt great, and the medication I am taking takes time to build in your system, so I am VERY hopeful, that this may do the trick!
Unfortunately, I did experience 1 side effect, I was nauseous all day, so tomorrow, I am going to call the doctor for some anti nausea meds.
Tomorrow, I also have a busy day planned, I have to re sign my lease, I can't believe it has been 13 mos, already, and lucky for me, due to the economy my rent will be staying the same, AND I will be getting wood floors, by the end of the month. I have some errands to run, and then lunch with my friend Dan L, Not my ex husband!!!! LOL, whenever I say I am going out with Dan people think I mean the ex!!!
I pray I am able to sleep well tonight, and that I wake up headache free, or at least the meds make my day easier! And I never will take for granted waking up feeling well, because that is a gift, there are so many people that never wake up feeling well, and it is a horrible way to live, and you do not have much quality of life.
Good night friends!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Rest In Peace Patty
As I said yesterday, too many people I know have died in the past 10 days.
My daughter Jennifer has a friend named Lexi, Jennifer became very close to Lexi & her family last year when Terry & I were separated. Lexi's mom had 2 sisters, Laurie & Patty and the treated Jennifer as if she were their own, Jennifer was very fond of them.
Last June, Laurie, over dosed on pain medication and died at the young age of 49, she left behind a 12 year old son, her situation was extremely sad, her husband was an alcoholic, and she used pain medicine to numb the pain, and she took too much, it was not a planned suicide. It was Jenn's first experience with death and it was very hard on her, I attended the wake & funeral with her, because I didn't know if she could handle the experience, as always, Jennifer did incredibly well, I have made many mistakes parenting, but, one thing I have done right is raise Jennifer to be strong, self sufficient, and to never have to depend on anyone else, she almost had no choice, but to be that kind of person with Cody's handicap, and my years of being down with my back issues.
Unfortunately, early in the week Jenn received a text message at 4am that Lexi's other aunt Patty passed away, she was also young, early fifty's! Lexi's mom S has lost both her sisters suddenly in less than a year, she is single, and has no other family, & Lexi is her only child.
Tonight is the wake & funeral is tomorrow, so I let Jennifer go w/o me, since I started my new medication plan today, I didn't think that I could handle the circumstances of a wake among mostly strangers.
So, as I type this Jennifer is at the wake, and will attend the funeral tomorrow, my prayers & heart goes out to S & her daughter Lexi.
And AGAIN I say, life is too short to major on the minors, or let little things bring us down, enjoy what you have, even if it is not much, there are many things that we ALL have that are priceless, try and not loose focus of those things because they are what matters the most. You really never know when you will see "that person" again
My daughter Jennifer has a friend named Lexi, Jennifer became very close to Lexi & her family last year when Terry & I were separated. Lexi's mom had 2 sisters, Laurie & Patty and the treated Jennifer as if she were their own, Jennifer was very fond of them.
Last June, Laurie, over dosed on pain medication and died at the young age of 49, she left behind a 12 year old son, her situation was extremely sad, her husband was an alcoholic, and she used pain medicine to numb the pain, and she took too much, it was not a planned suicide. It was Jenn's first experience with death and it was very hard on her, I attended the wake & funeral with her, because I didn't know if she could handle the experience, as always, Jennifer did incredibly well, I have made many mistakes parenting, but, one thing I have done right is raise Jennifer to be strong, self sufficient, and to never have to depend on anyone else, she almost had no choice, but to be that kind of person with Cody's handicap, and my years of being down with my back issues.
Unfortunately, early in the week Jenn received a text message at 4am that Lexi's other aunt Patty passed away, she was also young, early fifty's! Lexi's mom S has lost both her sisters suddenly in less than a year, she is single, and has no other family, & Lexi is her only child.
Tonight is the wake & funeral is tomorrow, so I let Jennifer go w/o me, since I started my new medication plan today, I didn't think that I could handle the circumstances of a wake among mostly strangers.
So, as I type this Jennifer is at the wake, and will attend the funeral tomorrow, my prayers & heart goes out to S & her daughter Lexi.
And AGAIN I say, life is too short to major on the minors, or let little things bring us down, enjoy what you have, even if it is not much, there are many things that we ALL have that are priceless, try and not loose focus of those things because they are what matters the most. You really never know when you will see "that person" again
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Pain Managment
Earlier today I mentioned I had a doctors appointment, it was for 2:30, God is always good to me, he put us in this incredibly small waiting room with a woman who was a New Yorka, and she was so entertaining, and helped pass the time. And there sure was a lot of time, it took them an hour & 15 minutes to even call us in!
So, we went over my stroke & the results of the many tests I had in the hospital, and things were a bit worse than I had originally been told. My DJD is very bad, layers deep through out my entire spine & neck, in the near future I may require neck surgery. And those paralyzing headaches I wake up with everyday are not going to go away, it is complicated, but in laymans terms, my occipital nerve is pinched by my cervical discs and surgery will not help that, because the scar tissue will cause the same pain as the pinched nerve is.
SO, controlling the pain has become the main priority right now, and my options, were many, many of which I have tried. We finally decided on a pain plan, which I will start tomorrow, and I am a bit nervous about the plan that we chose. My husband is going to be monitoring me, and we go back in 2 weeks to see how things are going.
I also found out the weakness on my left side is most likely permPublish Postanent, but, it's not so bad, so I can live with it. As far as the speech & confusion, they are not sure right now, my biggest mistake was not going to the hospital when I thought I had the stroke, for everyone out there, even if you just THINK you MIGHT be having a stroke, go to the ER immediately, it can save your life!!
I have many spots on my brain, and there is no way to tell which are from the headaches or stroke, and between that and being diabetic I am at risk of having another stroke.
But, on a very good note, my stroke, has brought my husband and I together like it was before HIS stroke, I think me having a stroke, & feeling everything I felt, enabled me to know exactly what he went through, and his stroke was so much worse than mine. He has been amazing, I honestly don't know what I would do w/o him right now, because I am not able to do much, and he has picked up the slack,
I thank all of you who have been praying for me and , that you would continue to pray that my new meds will help me with these headaches!
So, we went over my stroke & the results of the many tests I had in the hospital, and things were a bit worse than I had originally been told. My DJD is very bad, layers deep through out my entire spine & neck, in the near future I may require neck surgery. And those paralyzing headaches I wake up with everyday are not going to go away, it is complicated, but in laymans terms, my occipital nerve is pinched by my cervical discs and surgery will not help that, because the scar tissue will cause the same pain as the pinched nerve is.
SO, controlling the pain has become the main priority right now, and my options, were many, many of which I have tried. We finally decided on a pain plan, which I will start tomorrow, and I am a bit nervous about the plan that we chose. My husband is going to be monitoring me, and we go back in 2 weeks to see how things are going.
I also found out the weakness on my left side is most likely permPublish Postanent, but, it's not so bad, so I can live with it. As far as the speech & confusion, they are not sure right now, my biggest mistake was not going to the hospital when I thought I had the stroke, for everyone out there, even if you just THINK you MIGHT be having a stroke, go to the ER immediately, it can save your life!!
I have many spots on my brain, and there is no way to tell which are from the headaches or stroke, and between that and being diabetic I am at risk of having another stroke.
But, on a very good note, my stroke, has brought my husband and I together like it was before HIS stroke, I think me having a stroke, & feeling everything I felt, enabled me to know exactly what he went through, and his stroke was so much worse than mine. He has been amazing, I honestly don't know what I would do w/o him right now, because I am not able to do much, and he has picked up the slack,
I thank all of you who have been praying for me and , that you would continue to pray that my new meds will help me with these headaches!
My Friend V
As I sit here this afternoon, nervous as heck because I have a doctor's appointment, I decided to get on FB. , and a dear friend of mine V posted an article about life with lupus, well, I know and have known people with lupus, and thought I knew what it was, but reading this article, I had NO IDEA, anyone, who has a friend with lupus or any disease for that matter should learn what they can about it, so you can truly understand what their day to day life is like.
My cousin just passed 10 days ago of MS, and I thought I knew all about that, too, but, I didn't, I had no idea she would go so fast and so young 33.
The scary part about reading the article V posted, was my life is not so far off from hers, between the different ailments I am dealing with right now, I experience the lack of energy and so limited as to how much I can actually do in a day, and believe me it is not much, taking 2 hrs to get up & shower, just a day out with a friend and I am spent the next day, taking handfuls of medication at a time, it is not where I thought my life would be at almost 50.
Thankfully, I have my husband home and he picks up the slack, in all my years I NEVER thought I'd see him vacuum, now he does it more than I do, if he were not here I don't know what I would do, which brings me back to V, I wish that some of us lived closer to her so that we could help her. She does not have a significant other, and lives alone, my heart goes out to her,
We have been sending around on FB that little status about FB being our on line mental hospital, well it is that, but more than that for people like V & Myself, that have a limited lifestyle due to health reasons, sometimes just a comment will make our day, just to know people are thinking of us!
And V, she has a never ending sense of humor, you can't beat her, no matter what you come back with, she's got you beat! And when she writes, she writes so beautifully, I understand she inherited that from her dear mother.
We need to keep her condition in daily prayer, she is always the one to pull us out of depression or whatever we are going through, when meanwhile, she is struggling just to get through her day, and most of us don't even realize that!
So, as I sit here worrying about this doctors appointment, V's life gives me hope, and strength that I will handle whatever the results are and if I have to, take 2 handful of pills at a time I will.
Thank you V for your blog, as usual perfect timing! we all love you & are praying for you, ALWAYS!!!! Can't wait to see you in May, Boy, will Tom's ears be ringing!!!!
My cousin just passed 10 days ago of MS, and I thought I knew all about that, too, but, I didn't, I had no idea she would go so fast and so young 33.
The scary part about reading the article V posted, was my life is not so far off from hers, between the different ailments I am dealing with right now, I experience the lack of energy and so limited as to how much I can actually do in a day, and believe me it is not much, taking 2 hrs to get up & shower, just a day out with a friend and I am spent the next day, taking handfuls of medication at a time, it is not where I thought my life would be at almost 50.
Thankfully, I have my husband home and he picks up the slack, in all my years I NEVER thought I'd see him vacuum, now he does it more than I do, if he were not here I don't know what I would do, which brings me back to V, I wish that some of us lived closer to her so that we could help her. She does not have a significant other, and lives alone, my heart goes out to her,
We have been sending around on FB that little status about FB being our on line mental hospital, well it is that, but more than that for people like V & Myself, that have a limited lifestyle due to health reasons, sometimes just a comment will make our day, just to know people are thinking of us!
And V, she has a never ending sense of humor, you can't beat her, no matter what you come back with, she's got you beat! And when she writes, she writes so beautifully, I understand she inherited that from her dear mother.
We need to keep her condition in daily prayer, she is always the one to pull us out of depression or whatever we are going through, when meanwhile, she is struggling just to get through her day, and most of us don't even realize that!
So, as I sit here worrying about this doctors appointment, V's life gives me hope, and strength that I will handle whatever the results are and if I have to, take 2 handful of pills at a time I will.
Thank you V for your blog, as usual perfect timing! we all love you & are praying for you, ALWAYS!!!! Can't wait to see you in May, Boy, will Tom's ears be ringing!!!!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
My Partner in Crime
For years we weren't too worried because we figured Terry had our back, he was a lawyer, and encase we accidentially got into trouble he could take care of it, but we no longer have that coverage.
Another day, we had gone out for lunch, we call ourselves the food critics of Phoenix, because we check out every little thing about every place we eat, and to this day, I don't think we have found ANY that would rate a 10, boy do I miss my New York food, Julie is from Oregon, and I think she really likes the fact that I am a New Yorka, because she likes the slang & such, she finds my pocabook hilarious, here you have a purse!
Then w/o going into major details, we went out for Italian, and on the way home, I announced we needed to pull into the Mc Donalds I saw on the corner, IMMEDIATELY, well, the food didn't agree with me, and a poor maybe 16 yr old kid is chasing behind me with a mop, Yea, not good!! By the time I get to the stall, there is not one piece of clothing, except my bra that isn't covered.
I am anouncing to Julie, in my rather loud N.Y. voice that I have no clothes, how am I going to leave McDonalds, we are far from home, The only store that was close was Walgreens, so she leaves me sitting on the thrown, and buys me clothes in WALGREENS!!! How many of you can say you clothes shop in Walgreens??? I guess beggers can't be choosy, they only has 1 size SMALL, and I was much heavier then, we are stuffing my body into these sweat pants, and I am saying this is just not going to happen, plus its 100 degrees and I am stuffed in small sweat pants, with a shirt that was so tight, it flattened my boobs as if I didn't have any. It is so funny now, but, OMGosh when it was happening I could have just died, a good friends son teases me when I visit by bringing out a mop!!
Julie & I suffer, but, not so much anymore, of moving furniture, and I don't mean just move the couch and a table or 2, we switch rooms completely, and usually get our wires all twisted up, and can't unwind them, and every dang time, we are panicking that the UH's are coming home & they are going to blow, but, we NEVER learn, because we would do it over & over. We didn't care if things were in our way, we would just knock it down & break it, and not care, it was insane. Thankfully we have gotten too old to do that anymore, and with my UH home all day, it;s impossible to do here, because he would literally have a stroke if he saw how we moved the furniture, the banging, and scratching etc.
There are so many funny stories, and some you just HAD to be there, but, I must say she is the BEST hospital buddy in the world, when my back was bad, she would take me to the ER and we would make it fun, we were asked to keep our voices down, and one time, they had me in a room with sliding glass doors and they locked us in, I suppose we were too loud, they wouldn't believe I was in pain, because we would be laughing so hard!!!
Well, I just wanted to say, HAPPY 51ST BIRTHDAY to you!!
I CAN NOT imagine my life w/o you, no one can make me laugh like you do, and you know what I am going to say before it comes out of my mouth, we are always on the same page, & understand things that others would probably think we should be in the funny farm for, don't worry, we may end up there at some point, but, if we go together & share a room, the place will never be the same.
When we are broke, which is most of the times we go on what we call "runs" we drive in the areas in town where all the funny looking people are walking the streets, and we laugh so hard we pee, you can't imagine what kind of things we see, forget People of Walmart, they have NOTHING on the people of our runs!!
So Jewie as Cody calls you, we have a lot of fun times a head of us, and thanks so much for being my friend & getting me through so MUCH stuff!!! XOXOX
AN Act Of God
Last night was a night to go down in the record books, and It also reminded me of a scripture verse, THROUGH CHRIST ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.....2 years ago, May, my son Scott moved to the east coast, due the the economy he has not been able to afford a visit home.
Last Tuesday morning, I get a call, WELL THE TRUCK IS PACKED...OKAY, WHAT TRUCK???? And he proceeds to tell me that he & his dad, are on their way back to Phoenix~~ I was very excited to have him home & back in the day to day things of life/ And in a recent blog I discussed how me & My Ex cleared the air when I had my stroke.
SO, last night the 2 of them came over, and home here was me, Terry, Cody & Jenn Nicole, we actually had a nice visit, I showed him pictures of my trip to Orlando last June, because he graduated with a lot of those people. Everybody got along, and everyone was relaxed & comfortable, If that is not an act of God, nothing is.
My ex and I have a history, we have been divorced 18 years married 12,, and there were times where we were good to each other, when Jenn Nicole was born, she was in NICU for 11 days, He moved in our house & took care of all 4 kids, and that included Cody who is not his son, he stayed almost 2 weeks.
Another time he lost all his belongings on a moving truck, and I got him, between what I had & my friends all the items he needed to furnish an apartment.
BUT, we have had some TERRIBLE times, there will always be a connection, and I suppose always be some anger, because we don't see things the same way. I apologized for my part of the divorce and he said some equal things I needed to hear. SO, Please JESUS, for the sake of the 5 kids, 2 grands & 2 in laws, I pray that we can keep things civil, and friendly, it makes it so much easier for the kids, lets face it, no matter how old you are, you want your parents to get along.
I am not a holy roller, but, I believe in God, and the Bible, & totally understand why the Bible condemns divorce, the kids are the ones that suffer the most. If you could have an amicable divorce for the sake of the kids, PLEASE do so, because I believe there are issues my kids would not be dealing with as adults, had we gone about our divorce differently.
It is NEVER too late to fix things, and never too late for happily ever after, so please try and move forward, in a positive way, and on those bad days allow yourself to feel weak, angry or whatever emotion you are feeling.
As I always say I like to learn a lesson from EVERY experience I have in life, good, bad or otherwise, and I am struggling right now, as you all know with family issues, my outside family, not kids & hubby, and seeing that my ex & I can make peace has given me the hope that things can work with the rest of the family, maybe a needed break now, is the plan, I don't know, I just know it hurts, but, I have had a lot of support from a lot of people, and I truly appreciate that from the bottom of my heart. If you have friends reaching out to you, as hard as it is, take their hand, that is where I struggle, I find that hard to do, and I find it hard to talk about the situation w/o the flood gates opening, and that is just who I am, I have a certain few that I open up to, but, it is usually when things feel so out of control, instead of opening up right away. As I said, Life is a lesson, we are all learning something everyday!
In the past 10 days 4 people I know have passed away, 2 were very young, I don't deal with death well, and it has me in such a funk, life is short, and I wish we could not major on the minors, and enjoy the time we have with one another, because we really don't know how quickly things can change.
If I could go back & change my emotional reaction to what I took as rejection, I would, but, unfortunately, I can only say I am sorry, and I have done that many times!!
Enjoy your family, enjoy your life, and if you are dealing with heavy issues, try and make the best out if it, if not for yourself, than for your kids etc. Because if I could do it all over, I sure would make a lot of changes!!!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
One People Of One Nation
SO much for me stopping the blogging! God is good, and he has had all kinds of people reach out to me in the past few hours that I feel better, and needed to write.
It started with 2 events, both on FB, the first one was that I launched a balloon in my cousin Joanne's name, and I am excited to see all the places it has already made it to, I can't wait for morning to see where it has been and where it is now!
The second thing is, I was reading my friend L's thread and she said she passed 2 churches today, one was predominately white, and the other black, but, the bar she passed was filled with blacks, white, Asians, Hispanics etc. Isn't the church supposed to be the example, not the exception?
I live in Arizona, and we all know the immigration debate that has been going on here, and I do not intend on giving my political opinion, because I learned the hard way on facebook not to,. I just want to say, as I tell my children, there are GOOD people of all races, and there are BAD people of all races,
I recently had a stroke, and I had complications, and it was a young Mexican nurses first day on the job, this woman hardly spoke ANY English, but she spoke my language, PAIN, I can tell you w/o her I never would have made it through that day, her kindness, and understanding, she was attentive, loving and just a plain angel! I can tell you the rest of the staff was nothing like her, and she was reprimanded for giving me too much time, here the poor woman is doing her job, and gets in trouble, pain, & situations are supposed to be wrapped up into a time period???
Then 3 years ago, at dusk in a bad area my car engine goes on fire, a black man stopped, who was riding his bike, I was in a not so nice area, and had no cell phone. This man, who I also refer to as an angel, stayed with me, he did not want me alone in the dark in that area, he let me use his cell AND he used hisAAA membership to tow my car home. This man ended up being from where else??New York!! We get such a bad rep, don't we, when I think New Yorkas are the most helpful people, they just tell it like it is, if they don't like you, you know it, here in AZ they act like they like you and then they knife you in the back!!!
I can go on and on about "racial" stories, and people it is 2011, Children learn what they live and if you are teaching deversion in your home, you are starting a new generation of predjudice, it's time that we except people because of who they are not if they are fat, hispanic, black, white etc.
When you meet someone new look at them as a PERSON, and block everything else out, and then decided if you like this person, if you don't, there is no reason to be cruel. Life is too short, so why can't we all just live & enjoy, and be there to support one another, and just stay away from those we don't like w/o trashing them. They say the US is the melting pot of America, well lets act like it!!!
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